


Nightmare's Aren't Only Shackled to Sleep

by 2001HondaCivicRampage



Category: Bloodborne (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon is Sad I am Sad, General Bloodborne Misery, Graphic Description, Heavy Angst, Just Church Boys being Church Boys, M/M, OCs are just for lore convenience and play no major roles, Pre-Canon, Semi-established relationship, Slow slow slow burn, gay shit, like 90 percent bad lore interpretation and five percent philosophy, painful transformation, the other five percent is misery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:15:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2001HondaCivicRampage/pseuds/2001HondaCivicRampage
Summary: Laurence is beginning to succumb to the Beastly Scourge and now seeks to cure both himself and all those afflicted.Ludwig hunts increasingly vicious beasts as he tries to protect Yharnam from falling into disaster.As Laurence isolates himself and tries to find a cure, Ludwig notices and can't help but reach out.No one should suffer alone, but as life and the horrors of Yharnam begins to resemble a nightmare more and more, Laurence and Ludwig are forced to come to terms with their own realities.
Relationships: Laurence/Ludwig (Bloodborne)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been years since I've written a fanfic, but my time has come again.  
> I hope that this, as my first attempt in a very long time is okay and I promise it gets more interesting later.  
> ((the OCs are legit just cause there's very little canon information on who was running half the factions))

The moon hung low.  
So close it almost appeared as if it would crush the steeple of Cathedral underneath its cosmic weight. The Hunt was on again tonight with the stench of beasts and blood hanging thick in the air, only warded off with the sickly smoke of incense that all sane citizens kept burning throughout the night as they barred their windows and chained their doors. Cathedral Ward was protected under the veil of immunity, Church Watchers marched the lanes, alleys and graveyards whilst clerics, saints and doctors rapidly darted from one building to another or stayed praying to the Great Ones and the Old Blood, for the protection of Hunters and Citizens alike under the soft glow of the altar candles.

But not all lay and quivered in the blessed safety of locked doors and choking incense.  
A slim man clad in gold trimmed white robes made his move, quickly, with pain pulsing through his body, he marched on.  
Laurence, Vicar of the Healing Church released a short, pained breath, before having to inhale impossibly deep despite the sharp jolts of protest from his ribs and arm. His determination, or more accurately, fear and adrenaline won over his inhibition, and broke into a sprint again down those accursed stairs towards Oedon Chapel.  
As Laurence made haste through the heavy, wrought iron gates, forcing them shut behind him, he strode past the quiet, ever watchful statues and gnarled trees that appeared to possess a life of their own. He didn’t make eye contact with the Amygdala of the Chapel; it wouldn’t provide him with much advice anyway. He could not afford to run into anyone that was already aware of what was transpiring, which realistically, were very few people. Not even all the members of the Choir were made aware of the truth. Laurence could not afford any chances, not as he was, not as what was happening.

"Evening Vicar"

Laurence nearly jumped right out his skin. Whipping around frantically, he attempted to locate the voice.

"Over here" called the bemused voice.

Laurence looking over to the base of an anciently twisted oak, was met with the crisp white and black robes of a Choir Member, blindfold cap obscuring her face, but he could still make out the characteristically unpleasant smirk.  
Clearing his throat, and recomposing himself, and pulling his cloak low over his left arm, Laurence stepped forward, though remained in the shadows.

"Scholar Hildegard, do you make a habit of lying in wait for your prey like a spider? I'm not entirely convinced you aren't a scourge beast yourself." Laurence stated, careful to control his adrenaline induced shaking.

The Choir scholar stood up slowly, dusting off the heavy fabric of her robes.

"Well the moon hangs unusually low tonight, so I suppose we'll see by the end of the night whether or not I am, who knows?" she exclaimed, mockingly suppressing her laughter.

Laurence wouldn't have been surprised if she started mock howling or mimed clawing at him. She always had a knack to get under his skin by just knowing where to press at the right moment ever since their days at Byrgenwerth.

"Amusing, truly. However, I really must be on my way and I’m sure you have better things to do than frighten casual wanderers." Laurence asserted through a pained breath, wiping his brow of the cold, clammy sweat that was gathering there.

"Ohhh don't start that shit with me Laurence! If you think that I believe that you're genuinely here for a nice evening stroll on the night of the Hunt you're more deluded than your little Blood Saints."

The scholar appeared to roll her eyes, backing dramatically into the stone bannister of the courtyard that overlooked the city. Crossing one leg and jerking her head to ‘meet’ Laurence's' eyes, she released a melodramatic sigh.

Laurence stepped further forward, careful to control his breathing which threatened to leave him hyperventilating if he didn't. His heart was still pounding concerningly.

"You would do well to remember the value and importance of all Church members Hildegard, not everyone has the luxury of rambling about the Great Ones, eyes, nightmare realms and your little cold war with Mensis." Laurence hissed, through gritted teeth.

Hildegard rolled her head back and sighed again, before putting her hands up in surrender. 

"Alright we won't discuss politics now then... Although, you are attempting to head to Upper Cathedral Ward? Aren’t you Laurence?”

Laurence felt his skin prickle and the hairs stand on end. Could she know? Or was it simply that he could not control his paranoia at this time? Was she just teasing him? Laurence swallowed down, tasting bile. Moving his left arm entirely behind him, he stepped forward again, less than an arm’s length from the leader of the Choir under the cold shade of the tree. g

"How did you know my intended destination?" he enquired through gritted teeth.

Hildegard only smiled slightly as her answer.  
Laurence could feel the ever-growing panic swell within his chest. He needed to leave as soon as possible, she was goading him into this, she wanted to see him squirm and by the Blood he would have to bend to her, as much as he hated it.

"I need a research laboratory… an isolated one" Laurence stated in a quiet, controlled manner. "Please Hildegard."

The Choir Leader tilted her head, crossing her arms and looking at him in a mockingly surprised way - though it was hard to tell with the cap obscuring her face.  
"Did you genuinely think you would be able to sneak around up there and just hijack a research laboratory?"

Laurence's heart rate increased, and the taste of bile rose in his mouth again with the cold sweat pricking his forehead again. He audibly attempted to stifle the increasingly uncontrolled breaths.

Hildegard noticed. Her expression darkened. Sighing, she uncrossed her arms and pointed toward the door leading through to Upper Cathedral Ward.

"When you get up to the Ward, take the left set of stairs down two flights and pick one of the smaller laboratory rooms on the right hand side, they've fallen out of use recently, they're naught more than storage."

Laurence mapped out her direction mentally and as he began to move away, he looked back at her and her rather unamused expression, though it was rather hard to tell - perhaps she was having the time of her life mocking sympathy for his situation.

"Thank you Hildegard" was all he muttered before taking his leave briskly towards the door.

"Oh, and Laurence -"

He stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face her

“Consider bandaging that" Hildegard added pointing to his arm, a smirk returning to her face.

Laurence could only offer a weak nod, desperately pulling at a robe sleeve that will not go any lower without ripping, before making haste to the obscured lower reaches of Upper Cathedral Ward.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything hurt.  
Not that it was a particular unique occurrence for Ludwig the Holy Blade. Night after night, hunt after hunt he would rally the Church Hunters and the willing civilians of Yharnam to join the righteous cause of purging the narrow streets of the scourge until they were all steeped ankle deep in blood. .

But everything was fatigued, both mentally and physically.  
If he wasn’t fighting scourge beast after beast in the crumpled, labyrinth like alleys of Yharnam, where the smell of acidic beast blood, incense, gunpowder and the near deafening screeches of said beasts would assault him, then it was far worse, council meetings. Even during the day there was little respite, as he was forced into even more dreadful situations, having to listen as Clerics fight with Church Hunters as they fought with the Power Kegs and then they all turned and united against the Executioners. Ludwig would have preferred getting mauled by some beastly abomination than sit it on another Council Meeting. It never ended, so everything hurt. Even though he knew it was a righteous and just cause, and wouldn't trade it for the world, it still left him drained. 

The only thing he could seek comfort in some nights was the company of others, well in particularly, one other.  
Laurence was the Vicar, though he was supposed to be Ludwig's superior, though he had never even attempted to assert any kind of dominance in the Hunter's realm. He knew what he knew, and the Hunt wasn't one of those. Laurence had started by inviting Ludwig back after the Hunts for first hand reports, then it became invitations for walks and meetings after Communion and before long they were spending long nights in Laurence's office with a decanter of liquor or a bottle of wine, just....talking. They had known each other for years, but only recently had the Vicar really shown interest, and increasingly more. Those nights with Laurence had often ended with Laurence placing the slightest brush of his full lips against Ludwig's, or a gentle stroke down the hunter’s defined jaw .

Now as the Night of the Hunt was beginning to draw to a close, Ludwig only thought of retreating to Laurence's office, reeking of beast blood and sweat, to have the Vicar draw him close and meticulously tend to each wound that hadn't fully healed through blood vials.

Though that had become less frequent, and in the last month or so Laurence had truly been reserved, uncomfortably so. Even the citizens that attended his Church Services and Communions had commented on his uncharacteristic aloofness and distraction. Ludwig had been asked incessantly about it, he was the Holy Blade and for no other reason he must know what troubles Laurence. But as both the Holy Blade and Laurence's.... Captain of the Hunters? Friend with courting potential?... Lover? He had little to no clue, as Laurence had even pulled from him.  
All too often he felt his bed was empty without the Vicar claiming he was too intoxicated for a ten-minute stroll to his quarters and was simply required to share Ludwig's.

"Ludwig, Saint Klara's team have reported in, there are no more beast sightings in aqueducts and canal, she believes all have been taken out"

Ludwig snapped his eyes open, observing the pale green glow that was emitted from his Holy Moonlight Sword, tearing his gaze away and forcing his concern for Laurence down, he looked up to the Church Hunter. Originally a foreigner, his standard Church hunter uniform drenched in an ever-darkening wash of beast blood.

Ludwig released a soft sigh of relief, and slowly rose from his knees, using his sword for support.

"Thank you, tell the others the hunt is over for tonight and then you can take leave, "

The man breathed a slight sigh of relief, letting his grip on his axe loosen, and began to turn away.

"Oh, Hunter -"

The man stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned his head around.

Ludwig placed his Moonlight Sword on his back and shook off his cloak,

"Well done tonight, you're well on your way to being a professional, the Healing Church is bettered with you in our ranks"

The hunter acknowledged the compliment gruffly, before slowly slipping into the darkness.

Sometimes the hunt was worth it, for the citizens as well. May there be a day they are not forced to cower and live in fear.

***

For all the fear and bloodshed, the Hunt caused, it could not be denied that the view of the rising sun over the steeples and spires of Yharnam in the aftermath was stunning. The soft blushes and pastel yellows slicing through the inky blues and blacks that heralded a night of bloodshed and slaughter.   
Ludwig surveyed the sprawling city from Cathedral Ward, already the Church was reopening the Great Bridge as the inky blacks and blues were replaced by streaks of pale blush and soft yellows. The Holy Blade breathed in deeply, but only ended up absorbing the remnants of burning flesh, incense, and blood.

'Maybe later it'll be more pleasant' Ludwig pondered. But he couldn't stop his thoughts going back to Laurence, he knew that Laurence loved to watch the sun rise, maybe it would be enough to convince him to see Ludwig, maybe. It was worth at least attempting. 

Ludwig set off, he considered himself lucky enough to still have enough scratches that Laurence would be forced by his good will to at least have a look at them...No! He shouldn't' be this selfish, he could literally take any form of Blood Ministration and be healed in seconds, and Laurence had clearly been distant and was probably stressed enough.

Ludwig had almost resigned himself to providing Laurence space, but, it would be rather rude not to at least check how the Vicar was feeling and to offer his services, as Captain of the Hunters of course. 

***

"Vicar Laurence"

Knock knock knock

Ludwig knew Laurence was usually found in his office, and it was honestly concerning that there wasn’t any response at all.

Knock knock knock.

He thought it may be useless, but something was off. No one he had spoken to had seen Laurence since the night of the Hunt, the Grand Cathedral held no communion, Oedon Chapel, and its resident assistant? Beggar? Security guard? Whose nervous demeanour resulted in him panicking when Ludwig mentioned that the Vicar was missing, or at least that he couldn't find him. The poor man had nearly hyperventilated there and then.

Laurence was a stickler for rules, routine and structure and defined himself by his dedication. If he knew he was to be predisposed or even suspicious of illness he would have alerted his assistants, Ludwig himself or at the very least young Amelia, his protegee.

With a resigned sigh, Ludwig let his gloved hand slide down the heavy oaken door and began to turn away.

Wait...............

Ludwig narrowed his eyes, maybe he has imagined it

He took a deep breath, leaning closer to the door.

Yes... it was undeniable, the stench of beast blood. It was feint, barely noticeable, but he could sense it almost as if his guidance was forcing him to acknowledge it.

Panic flooded his body and he back-stepped dramatically, putting distance between himself and the door, Ludwig listened in but heard nothing.  
It did not matter, he needed to know

Ludwig breathed deep, and ran at the door with his might, slamming his shoulder into the gap between the lock and the frame. Whilst the door did not fly off its hinges surprisingly, it was left splintered where Ludwig assaulted it and hanging off at a precarious angle.  
Ancient oak doors versus a seven-foot Hunter was no challenge.

In the open space of Laurence's office, Ludwig took in the scene.  
The large mahogany desk was off-centre, fireplace still smouldering whilst the bookshelves with their ancient tombs that line three of the walls were in upheaval, with loose paper strewn around the floor and the majority of the desk.  
'There are signs of a struggle? Possible, but not of the beastly variety concluded Ludwig

He was still afraid for Laurence, that much could be said he would never allow his office to be in disarray and to abandon it so.

Ludwig entered further into the room, acknowledging the strewn papers that crunched ever so slightly under his boot.

Suddenly, something caught his eye, that hairline of green. It forced his vision to the left, towards the large window, underneath in the light of the morning sun, blood ministration equipment. Ludwig recognised it as Laurence's own personal version, knocked over, blood spilled onto the ground, dried over the stone and rug, but still slightly dewy and congealing in the crevices between stones.

Ludwig knelt down next to the blood, gathering a small smear of the congealing blood on his glove, and lifted it to his nose. It was human blood, it could not be mistaken for anything, but there was something off about it. Something that made Ludwig edged and queasy to consider, within the overpower scent of human blood, there was the slightest part that released the sickeningly acidic scent of beast blood.

Ludwig jolted up and paced briskly to the desk, he noticed the drops of blood that splattered some of the pages, significantly dried and sticking some of the pages together.  
None of it made sense.  
Ludwig scoured over some of the documents, desperately attempting to read something they helped, anything. All he found was chemical equations, symbols beyond normal human comprehension, reports, statistics. Nothing of use. He turned to the right-hand bookshelf next, he ran his fingers along its edges in an attempt to reap something of use. But he wasn’t hopeful, for even if he was presented with the answers there was a chance he wouldn’t be able to understand it.

Ludwig sighed, feeling a nauseous knot in his stomach. It was in his nature to protect but is it possible to do so when he had such little information. It was best for him to report his findings to Yakobas, the High Cleric and hope that he could unravel more. Ludwig moved back towards the barely-hanging-on door and glanced back. He just could not shake a feeling that he was missing something.........

"Wait" he muttered to himself, straightening up and turning back into the depth of the room, brown eyes glancing back over to the desk.

There was one more. When he often came to the office Laurence often wrote in a bound cloth book, it was not particularly fascinating, but it had been dyed an ever so soft green tint that Ludwig had noticed as he believed matched Laurence's eyes. Laurence had stated it was his journal and said it had been a keepsake from his parents when they still lived.

Ludwig cast his gaze towards the desk again, walking around the bending to the draws, opening the first he was greeted by more loose paper, but the second reaped the book. It may be personal, but this was desperate, he would formally apologise to Laurence when he had located him and ensured his safety.  
Picking the book, he ran his gloved hand along the edges. They were singed, the material pulled back and blackened along the edges.  
Ludwig flicked it open and allowed it to fall to its naturally flattened page. It was recent, dated only two or so days before.  
The page was barely comprehensive with frantic scrawl that could only just be made out underneath the darkened burn marks, that appeared to Ludwig, to be in the shape of fingers.  
Ludwig poured over the contents of those few particularly burnt pages.

And his blood turned to ice.

Slamming the book shut he shoved it in the internal pocket of his cloak and raced out of the office into the courtyard of Cathedral Ward, towards what lay above.

He had to find Laurence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig breaks another door  
> Laurence has anxiety

Laurence stifled another cry.

He was no longer in pain, that had seemingly disappeared slowly as the moon had receded, but this time he cried out of desperation.

The Vicar of the Healing Church was not supposed to ever be ill; it was his job to heal others and provide them with care, comfort, and faith.

He leaned back into the hard-wooden chair, careful not to accidentally pull out the needle that was injected into the crook of his left arm. He put his good hand up to his face and obscured his eyes, allowing him to swallow hard and bite down the tears that threatened to show. It did not matter if he was alone in the candle lit, dust covered research lab, he needed to maintain his dignity.

Slowly he brought his hand down and looked to his arm undergoing blood ministration. He felt the unnatural heat radiate from the raw, reddened skin. He observed the veins from the crook of his arm snaking outwards, blackened and pulsing with the Old Blood that he forced into them.

Laurence slowly breathed out shakily, he could not afford to lose it, he could not. But he was not sure of the time he had, or where to even being on how to heal himself properly. 

Laurence slowly withdrew the needle from the crook of his left arm, allowing the small wound to close itself. Flexing the arm, he stretched it before reaching for a bandage, and beginning to wind it around his whole arm. He breathed out a shaky breath and stood from the chair, reaching for the blood ministration equipment he began to disassemble the components, placing them carefully down on the laboratory table. Laurence took a large glass bottle of disinfectant alcohol and a cloth he began to wipe down the needles, syringes, scalpels, forceps, and other experimental equipment.

The room was small, and reminded him uncomfortably of the laboratories of Byrgenwerth, where he had first experimented with Old Blood and the biology of the Great Ones. The scuffed wooden floors had long, polished benches that were usually covered in reams of loose paper, bound textbooks, tombs of ancient wisdom and equipment to put the theories into practice. It was dark, isolated, and simple, if somewhat outdated, but it suited his purposes.

Laurence dabbed his brow again, feeling the cold sweat return as his body adjusted to the rather lengthy ministration he had put himself through. He could not afford to lose it now, he had to remain calm, collected and above all, in his right mind. As he reached to place the equipment back together and in its rightful place, he froze.

_Tap, tap, tap_

Laurence’s hair stood on end, he couldn’t help it. No one was supposed to know he was here, or at the least not bother him. No maybe it was someone coming to kill him? Was that possible, did someone know already?

_Creak…_

Laurence’s breathing rapidly increased, his breaths became shorter, sharper and took in far less oxygen. He felt his heart begin to race uncontrollably and he felt sweat prickle all over his body.

No!

No, no no…it was fine, he was paranoid, he was alone. Even the Choir members if they saw him were likely instructed not to interfere. Even if someone came in, they would only see the Vicar cleaning some equipment, albeit in a rather unusual place.

Laurence placed his hands over his mouth and nose and desperately attempted to control his breathing, he couldn’t afford to faint now, he had to calm down.

‘Breath’ he forced himself to think.

It was a heavy hardwood door that stood between him and the hallway and even then it may just be the building moving or a Choir member getting something from storage.

No…..wait……….

_Thump…..thump….thump_

He heard heavy, but controlled footsteps right outside the door.

Laurence kept his hands over his face, desperately seeking to keep his breathing under control, he couldn’t manage a rational thought as he was now. His breathing became even more rapid, he began to audibly gasp for air.

Gods why………

“Vicar Laurence?”

A deep voice enquired, right behind the door.

Laurence’s hands dropped from his face and he crumpled to the floor, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe.

Laurence gasped loudly and desperately for air.

“Laurence!”

The voice was louder, panicked, but Laurence could no longer care, his head felt light, he let himself slowly fade into darkness.

The last thing he remembered was a rather large crash and a muffled voice.

#  *******

His head hurt. That’s all he could think at that moment. A throbbing dull ache that occasionally spiked with a sharp hot pain when he moved his neck in the slightly wrong position.

Laurence’s eyelids felt heavy, but slowly he forced himself to open them. Thankfully it was dark, with the only light coming from the gentle candlelight that flickered and danced on the table. Laurence breathed out slowly, groaning as he attempted to survey his surroundings the best he could. He was on a cold, hardwood floor, the smell of blood and alcohol permeating from years of research. He groaned again and slowly tried to push himself up.

“Not so fast my Vicar, please don’t force yourself.”

Wait

Hold on

Laurence’s eyes shot wide open and he jolted his whole body upright erratically, but before he could even gain his footing his knees began to crumple beneath him.

However, the fall did not come.

He then was made entirely aware of a pair of large, gloved hands supporting him, one around his waist and another just under his right arm. Laurence’s green eyes trailed over, an attire of white and silver met his gaze, his eyes then moved up to his supporter’s chest. There it was. The Radiant Sword Hunters Badge that almost emitted a silver light of its own. He had been there; he had presented that badge on the day he had sworn in the first Captain of the Church Hunters. Laurence swallowed, raising his head his eyes met the warm brown eyes of his supporter, the Hunter.

“Ludwig” Laurence whispered.

Ludwig smiled gently. But he looked concerned, his long dark hair was tousled, and his eyes betrayed the rather passive demeanour.

“You should sit down, and the floor is far from comfortable I’m certain”

Ludwig gently nudged the Vicar towards the wooden chair, placing him gently down, he leaned against the table, giving Laurence space.

Laurence was still foggy but aware. He felt exhausted and yet he could still feel the ever-telling tightness in his chest. Was he to struggle to breathe again? Or would he simply break down right then and there?

“Laurence?”

Laurence whipped his head towards the Hunter.

“You look like death warmed up, I was so worried when I saw you collapsed, please, tell me what happened”

Ludwig’s soft words were tinged with a steely concern, like a razor blade placed ever so gently against the skin. Intentional or not, it caused a wash of a cold anxiety over Laurence’s body. He couldn’t face him, not a Hunter, not _his_ Hunter. Laurence’s head fell and he reached to rub his tired eyes with his right hand. Looking back at Ludwig, he noticed the Hunter’s gaze resting on his bandaged left arm, brow furrowed.

Drawing a shaky breath, Laurence cleared his throat and attempted to sit up straighter. He raised his head and looked right into Ludwig’s eyes again.

He couldn’t do this.

The hunter observed him with such genuine concern.

This wasn’t right. Laurence had planned to tell him he was simply conducting some more research and force him out as politely as possible. But when he looked at him, his gut twisted. He felt that rise in panic again, he felt his chest tighten.

Ludwig noticed the Vicar begin to breath rapidly and started to reach out his hand to touch Laurence’s left arm in support.

Laurence recoiled erratically. He leapt back, knocking away the chair and backed into the cold stone wall, clutching his left arm, staring intently at Ludwig from under the curtains of hair that stuck to his face.

Ludwig was entirely taken aback; he rose to his feet and retreated slighting away from Laurence.

“I’m so sorry my Vicar, it was not appropriate for me to try to touch you, please I beg of your forgiveness.”

Ludwig backed away further, bowing his head in apology.

Laurence’s heart continued to race. Oh Gods what had he done.

“I…… Ludwig…” Laurence breathed, slowly collapsing against the wall, nails digging into his left arm, so firmly that he could feel the skin splitting slightly under the bandages.

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this.

And just like that, Laurence began to weep.

***

Ludwig had never seen the Vicar show many negative emotions. He had seen him stressed, concerned and at times outright frustrated. But it was always environmental. A blood ministration unsuccessful, the death of a Church member or citizen, too much paperwork or exhaustion from overworking. But never had he seen the Vicar in such a state. Skin pallid and green eyes ringed with dark shadows that were so severe they could have been misinterpreted as bruises. Even his dark blonde hair, usually immaculate, looked limp and just hung around his shoulder. But most concerningly, the entire left arm entirely bandaged right down to the fingers. Laurence was the Vicar, and even more-so, the founder of Blood Ministration, patron of the Old Blood and the Leader of the Healing Church…but he was still only human.

Ludwig wondered if that was it, was he crumbling under the weight of all he had been built up to be and having to always be the Holy Man that people relied on for everything.

Here a man stood, sobbing, right hand raised, obscuring his eyes.

Ludwig breathed in deeply and approached Laurence slowly, as if approaching an injured wild animal, gently, as gently as possible.

Laurence was desperately attempting to quell his sobs, but he couldn’t, he didn’t have the strength.

Ludwig slowly placed his hand on the side of Laurence’s head.

“My Vicar, you don’t have to speak if you don’t wish, but please, I want to help you”

With his free hand, Ludwig reached into his cloak and retrieved the journal, just holding it where he knew Laurence could see it.

Laurence slowly let his hand slip away from his face, still breathing deeply in an attempt to control the sobs. His eyes, red and bleary trailed to his journal. He let his head fall completely into Ludwig’s supporting hand.

Ludwig looked down, ashamed

“I’m so sorry my Vicar, I hadn’t seen you for days and then you called for reports to be delivered to the High Cleric instead and then no one said they had seen you during the Hunt” he took a moment to breath. “So I went looking and when I couldn’t find you I thought the worst so I literally broke into your office and…and I read your journal and it doesn’t all make sense, but I know you’re sick and have been for a month! You haven’t told anyone but now you’re here, locked away where no one would be able to reach without the Choirs consent.”

Ludwig was increasingly concerned; he could barely look Laurence in the eye.

“I just want you to know I am deeply sorry, and I want to help you if you wish,” he finished.

Laurence choked a slight smile through his tear seized throat.

“You should become a private detective” He smiled weakly.

Ludwig could only offer a slightly pained smile in return, brow still contorted with worry.

Laurence was able to breathe deep for a second, lifting his right hand he raised it to cup Ludwig’s defined chin down to his eye’s height, by the Gods he was tall.

“You truly are honest and noble to fault Ludwig” he offered genuinely, seeing Ludwig still not entirely relieved, he added “I don’t mind you entering my office, and surprising it feels nice that someone would be bothered to remember which one my journal is and then triangulate the information to find me”

Ludwig handed Laurence the journal, using his now free hand to stroke Laurence’s sharp cheekbone.

“My Vicar, it was neither in code nor in advanced language and it directly mentioned being ‘obscured by the Choir’s hyper-fixations’.”

Laurence considered that, perhaps he really had over thought it.

“Then who let you in?”

“Some deranged scholar who thought it was rather hilarious I had come to find you, she said kept repeating ‘I warned him’” Ludwig responded.

“Hildegard, she’s the founder, steer clear of her, we were both researchers at Byrgenwerth”

Taking a deep breath in, Laurence closed the limited space between then, placing his head on Ludwig’s chest.

“Also, Ludwig please just call me Laurence, I know you’re a stickler for rules and noble structures, but I view us as equals, so please, let us treat each other so.”

“Okay, Laurence.” Ludwig agreed, taking his arms and wrapping them around the Vicar. He lowered his head and buried his face in Laurence’s hair, enjoying the moment, drinking in the scene of formaldehyde and incense that followed the Vicar everywhere.

Wait.......

Ludwig breathed in again.

It was undeniable.

Ludwig tightened his grip around Laurence, earning a murmur of confusion from the Vicar. Laurence could feel Ludwig’s heart begin to race. Which in turn increased his own fear and discomfort.

“Laurence” the Holy Blade whispered, ever so quietly. “I don’t wish to raise too much alarm, but I can smell the scent of a beast.”

Now Laurence’s own heart began to race. Not again, he would certainly die if he panicked and fainted again.

“It’s not in this room, the scent is too faint, but it’s around here somewhere.”

Ludwig slowly released his grip on Laurence, turning his back to him and giving the Vicar the full view of his Moonlight great-sword strapped securely on his back. Ludwig lowered his stance, and slowly made his way to the doorframe, as Laurence now acknowledged the door had been forcibly removed off its hinges and lay splintered on the ground.

Seven-foot Hunter, One, Ancient Hardwood Door, Zero.

Ludwig approached the space, carefully peering out into the near pitch-black hallway. He slowly drew his sword, the soft green glow illuminating his stern face, something rarely seen when not on the hunt. It was said Ludwig became something else entirely when that blade had found its way to him in the labyrinths.

Laurence slowly leaned off the wall, cold of the stones leaving his body whilst his heart still raced.

Ludwig didn’t know. Not entirely.

Ludwig couldn’t smell the scent of beasts anymore; it had seemingly got weaker as he approached the door. He couldn’t hear anything either. It was concerning.

He slowly backed away from the hallway, retreating and turning to Laurence, who was white as a ghost, clammy sweat and dark blonde hair sticking to his forehead. His breaths were becoming more rapid now.

Ludwig began to approach him.

It hit him.

The acrid scent of beasts, he knew it too well, stronger now, but still peculiar. He looked directly at Laurence, grip on his sword tightening as he took another step, the Vicar just remained frozen. 

“Laurence?” Ludwig enquired slowly.

Laurence stared at him, face almost pleading. He breathed deep, breaking his gaze with Ludwig as he reached to his left arm, and began to unwind the bandage.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laurence still has some resolve, but it always helps when there's a certain hunter there as well.

Ludwig would have been lying if he had said he hadn’t recoiled slightly at what he saw.

Laurence, the Vicar, a Holy Man, stood obscured by the shadows and the ever-flickering candle, offering a view of his left arm. Ludwig could make out it was more defined in muscle than Laurence’s right, skin pulled taut and angrily red. As Ludwig’s gaze lowered, his eyes fell upon the hand. It was slightly larger than it should have been, fingers unnaturally long and almost skeletal with black nails, no, claws tipping each of them.

He has seen it many times, he had cut limbs like this from beasts that threatened the safety and lives of the civilians of Yharnam, letting them recoil as blood spurted and flowed from the wounds inflicted by his blade.

Ludwig forced his gaze back to Laurence’s face, he had started crying again, silent tears flowing down his face.

“Laurence.... how long have – “

Laurence choked back a sob, breathing uneasily, he moved his right arm to pull his left closer to his body.

“The change started about a month ago, at first it was just an occasional fever that was dealt with by the blood ministration. Then I began to feel an intense heat in my left arm occasionally, it kept me up at night, so I simply upped the dosage of blood and then it was subdued for a week or so”

Laurence paused, gathering himself.

“Then as of mid-last week my whole body became wracked with waves of pain concentrated in my left arm, oh Gods Ludwig the pain, it was like I was burning from the inside out, and.. and then the bones started to break and reform.”

Laurence was breathing more erratically, taking deep breaths in between small sobs.

“The Beastly Scourge” Ludwig whispered. 

Laurence could only nod weakly in agreement, backing into the wall again and crumpled down, head in his knees, right arm obscuring his eyes again.

Ludwig understood now. It almost made sense, but he hoped all would be revealed by Laurence when he was more stable.

Slowly, Ludwig stepped towards Laurence, as quietly and as gently as possible he knelt in front of him. Once again, taking his head in his hands and pressing their foreheads together. Laurence continued to weep silently.

Keeping their heads together, Ludwig slowly reached down, taking Laurence’s right hand in his, and then reaching for his left. He touched the index finger ever so slightly. Laurence attempted to draw his hand away, but Ludwig gently moved his hand to hold his wrist, if Laurence truly wanted, he could pull away. When Laurence didn’t, he moved to entwin his gloved hand with Laurence’s afflicted one. He could feel the unnatural heat through the glove, and he could gauge that the strength this arm, and hand possessed would be greater than Laurence would usually have. The sinewy flesh and short claws as sharp as any blade slowly enclosed around Ludwig’s own hand.

Ludwig looked into Laurence’s green eyes, seeing the tired, defeated expression, but within that there was relief. Laurence sighed and leaned back, Ludwig pulled away, moving to sit beside Laurence, taking his left hand and not letting it go.

The two sat like that for a moment, silent aside from the occasional creek from somewhere in the building and Laurence’s slow breathing.

“Ludwig”

Laurence broke the silence.

“Yes”

“You know of course…all beasts were once people; the hunt is founded on those principles...”

Ludwig sighed, leaning back further against the wall, looking to the ceiling.

“Laurence, I will need you to explain what’s going on, but more importantly, you’re not a beast, and you’re not going to become one.”

Laurence moved closer to Ludwig, gripping his hand tighter.

“And…And I’ve always known that was the case. Old Yharnam still has so many sick individuals afflicted with the Ashen Blood and most beasts seem to come from there, it’s why we have harrowed hunters… but wherever the Beastly Scourge truly came from or how it developed is up to the doctors and you”

Ludwig looked down and then to Laurence sternly.

“I am a hunter, I hunt the beasts that threaten the safety of Yharnam, and sick people pose no threat, I concern myself with hunting those that do, so Laurence, I just want you to know that as a Hunter, I can tell beast from man naturally, it’s not hard, so if you believe that you can cure this and save us from needed to bring even more people into the Hunt by curing it entirely….then Laurence, please do what you can, and I will do whatever you need me to.”

Laurence opened and closed his mouth, eyes wide and contemplative.

“I’ll do my best Ludwig, for The Healing Church and for Yharnam, lest we fall like Loran and Pthumeru”

Laurence began to stand, and Ludwig followed suit, drawing the large Hunter into an embrace. Ludwig was relieved that Laurence seemed more stable and relaxed, he couldn’t have imagined hiding such an ailment for even a month would have been easy, but now the worst was ahead.

“Laurence?”

“hmm?”

“How much time have you got before…. well, uh”

“Before I become a beast” Laurence stated bluntly.

Ludwig grimaced, he hadn’t meant it to be so direct. But Laurence smirked and drew back, taking Ludwig’s hands in his own, careful not to cut him with the claws of his afflicted one.

“I’m not certain, there is not consistent time for a complete transformation from what I’ve researched, there are too many independent variables such as age, prior health, exposure to Ashen Blood, all of it. But what I do know is that if I’m not careful I could end up overexposed to the scourge and accelerate it, so I’m going to be careful, I promise.”

Laurence looked from his hands entwined with Ludwig’s grimacing at the sight of his left, which repulsed even him with the unnaturally gnarled bone, red raw skin and darkened, bulging veins. He was eternally thankful Ludwig had accepted it and clearly attempted not to dwell on it.

Ludwig sighed softly.

“Laurence, people will come looking for you, you’re far too high profile to disappear completely and I doubt it’s a good idea to isolate yourself down here with no natural light and meagre equipment.”

Laurence drew his hands away and turned towards the desk, placing his hands down and looking at the candle, which was nearly burnt out, he rubbed his eyes and moved to the neat stack of papers and books to the right.

“You’re right, I simply cannot vanish, these people need me, and I have to save them, but I don’t know if i’ll be able to do so as I have previously.”

“So, what do you want to do?” Ludwig enquired, crossing his arms.

Laurence stood straight, turning to face the Hunter, green eyes shining weakly, closer to the way Ludwig had always known them to.

“Well, I’m the Vicar, I’ve got to run the services and communion, but unfortunately stress related illness can often take a toll on people, so the High Cleric Yakobas, you know the one, the stocky man from Egypt, I think it would be best if he will take over the administrative work and some services so I can focus on my research.”

Ludwig nodded consistently, but he still felt a sinking pit in his stomach, all he could do was be there for Laurence and help in any way he could, but he still feared the worst.

Laurence approached the hunter,

“I’ll continue to use this research laboratory at night, it’s functional enough and I’m sure there’s a mattress around here, I also don’t wish to pose a threat to anyone if the worst occurs, but during the day I’ll attend to my regular duties as normal, though a more loose fitting robe or cloak may be in order” he grimaced, looking to his arm. If he bandaged it, kept it obscured and under the flowing robes of the Church, then he may just be able to get away with it and maintain his appearance.

He could do this, if he had the support of Ludwig then that would elevate his spirit even more. Great Ones observe, he would save Yharnam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah the chapter is short but I'm attempting to edit the next couples ones it something more comprehensive. 
> 
> Thank you to anyone who's stuck around, this was nothing more than a self indulgent piece, but it also feels good if I know someone else can get something out of it :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balancing mundanity and desperately attempting to find a cure for a seemingly incurable and rather brutal disease can be tough.   
> And what would a hunter be without the hunt?

As days bled into weeks, both Ludwig and Laurence were ever busy.

Laurence had claimed mental fatigue, of which every Blood Saint and doctor had offered their services if their Vicar ever required them. Laurence had been able to keep his anxiety hidden as he performed his public role to perfection. Holding Communion and Church Services in the Grand Cathedral and even going further to hold small, intimate services in Oedon Chapel – to elevate the faith of the populace in the Healing Church and the Old Blood, then to the new research halls, to observe the blood ministration of sick, diseased, weary and the accursed of Yharnam and from wherever else. He listened to their woes, emboldened them when they were miserable and encouraged their faith in the Healing Church. 

And every evening he retreated to the inner sanctums of Upper Cathedral Ward, where he worked tirelessly on trying to first understand the origins of the Beastly Scourge’s development, and then on how to purge it from the body.

He brought in more equipment, vials and flasks, and machinery whirred whilst chemicals were stored safely in crates the Choir had ‘generously’ allowed him to borrow. He had even convinced them to lend him a mattress. So, night after night he worked tirelessly, desperately attempting to find some development, some positive. He was lucky Ludwig was there on some nights, though the Hunt continued, and the nights tended to get longer allegedly. Laurence couldn’t tell, he had always barred himself away before the sun had even completely set. But it was taking its toll, not only on him, but on those close to him.

He recalled recently, he had been hunched over the laboratory table attempting to solve a chemical equation, or more realistically, force a chemical equation to work somehow, for it to make sense. But the more he analysed the medical documentation and properties of various chemicals to see if any particular combination would possibly be able to counteract at least the degeneration of tissue. But if that was too complex Laurence would settle for at least a reaction to beast blood, positive or negative. But alas, he seemed to be getting anywhere. Laurence had rubbed his eyes, attempting to invigorate some life into them a ward off the impending drowsiness that accompanied such long nights. Laurence lowered his hand and sighed audibly. 

“You ought to take a break.”

Laurence had smiled and twisted on his chair to face his company. The Holy Blade sat in the corner of the cold stone room, a candle flickering gently next to him as he appeared to be engrossed in some text. 

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead and not before.”

Ludwig had grunted a laugh and looked up at Laurence, before setting his book aside he had stretched his arms high before getting up and wandering over to Laurence. Leaning against the chair, Laurence recalled him placing a firm yet gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Laurence, rest.” Ludwig had said warmly, but carried a hint of worry. 

Laurence reclined further and craned his neck to look into Ludwigs eyes, he could tell the hunter was deeply concerned, despite his calm and collected demeanor. He leaned further back and rested his head on Ludwig’s side. 

“Then make it worth my while. Tell me, what are you reading?” 

Ludwig had moved his other hand to Laurence’s hair and began to stroke thought it methodically, brushing the dark blond locks away from his eyes. 

“It’s one of the history books from the Cathedral library, discussing the warriorship of the Pthumarians… I’ll say that the Keepers of the Old Lords are certainly something else, granted eternal life just to guard their gods, different to those watchers I fought years ago in the labyrinths.” 

Laurence smirked and began to laugh, leaning forward, breaking Ludwig’s grasp. Ludwig looked somewhat offended, and furrowed his brow in a degree of confusion. 

“More noble warriors and codes of eternal watchfulness?” Laurence laughed, looking at the hunter's seemingly unamused expression. 

“What’s wrong with that? It’s historical.”

“Did they make you read similar texts in the monastery where you grew up and thus it’s stuck with you? Or is it just a genuine interest?” Laurence smiled, lowering his eyelids with fatigue and leaning back into the chair.

Ludwig smiled and caressed the side of Laurence’s face lightly. 

“It was an abbey, and no, I spent my whole time translating Latin texts, being forced to sing in that choir and doing farm work until they gathered I really was better suited to swinging a sword.”

Laurence liked the image of the young hunter crouched over a Latin text, reading the same page over and over again until he would just give up and face the wrath of the priest and ministers for a chance to practice with a sword… or large stick more accurately. The more amusing one was him being forced into choral practice, the dream of every attention-lacking young child. But that itself invited other questions, 

“They say being a Holy Blade is somewhat hereditary, is that true even if you didn’t really know your parents?” 

Ludwig had sighed, and moved his hands to the back of the chair as he leaned forward. 

“Somewhat, people can elect to become one, though no one in this age would, thus it was left to us who have familial links to be bribed into with enlighted justice and a sense of duty. I believe it was my maternal great-grandmother who was the last genuine Holy Blade… Though, some of the hunters have the potential to become Holy Blades I think, it would be nice if some of them could carry on the tradition in a sense.”

Laurence nodded and looked back to his desk. The experiments and reams of research paper remained, beckoning him. He sighed and leaned forward, Ludwig glanced over his shoulder. The research made little sense to him, the historical side was fascinating but the actual medical and chemical side was a little more dull in his opinion. 

Laurence looked at his left arm, it was easier to move when unbandaged, but it stood out a reminder. He had an unknown amount of time to cure this, but he would cure it, he would endeavour that much, he wouldn't ever go through the loss of losing someone to an unknown, incurable illness. 

Not again. 

It was why he had started in medicine anyway, watching his older sister fade as if the sands of time stripped her of all she was. Unable to be cured, no one able to tell what it was. There was no diagnosis, no treatment that worked. His father grew more and more panicked and attempted to ward off the impending doom with prayer and blessings. But still nothing worked, her once vibrant hair became dull and lifeless and her blue eyes faded, her skin was a light as paper and the slightest brightness soon became unbearable. Before long she was gone, and he left for Germany, not only to escape constantly feeling of her presence gone, but had become father was withdrawn, spending a great deal of time when not at the parish, at the graveyard, standing before the final resting place of his mother and sister. He was a shell. There was nothing for the young Laurence in England. 

When he got accepted into Byrgenwerth, it was a blessing. He was surrounded by individuals, who similarly, were from unusual circumstances, and like him, all reaching for something greater. That's what he wanted and he would achieve it no matter what, it may be more tangible than what the Choir and Mensis strived for, but ascending humanity beyond the problems of illness and crises that come with mortality, with being human was worth any cost.

And with that, he went back to his experiments. 

***

“Laurence?”

The Vicar was snapped from his thoughts, blinking he realised he had been staring at the same page for quite some time. 

“hmmm, yes Amelia?”

He looked across from his office desk to a small leather armchair in the corner next to the fireplace, where a young girl sat huddled, looking up from a textbook, pale blue eyes inquisitive. 

“Do you have to meet with the Choir regularly now? I thought they barely met with anyone that wasn’t one of their own scholars, or at least visiting academics”

Amelia, Laurence’s protegee, widened her eyes inquisitively as she looked to him. 

“Well I don’t regularly meet them, but I just find their research useful sometimes” he answered rather quickly, desperately hoping she wouldn’t pry further, though she was intelligent and he hated lying to her.

Laurence knew that she was probably enquiring what he was doing leaving Cathedral Ward and his former duties during the night in favour of retreating to one of the most secretive places in all of Yharnam, she did take care of the orphans up there sometimes, it wouldn’t surprise him if she had seen him skulking around. He felt a pang in his left arm, but knew it was just he was becoming aware of it. He couldn’t truly lie to her, he felt like a bad enough parental figure already. They usually spent quite a lot of time together, setting up services and communion, helping tend to the sick and he would even take her shopping for books if they had time to spare. But with the all-encompassing research and his rising anxiety, he desperately tried to find time to show he still cared and keep her mind from wandering to all the possibilities of where he could be and why he was scarcely present. 

“Amelia?”

“Yes Laurence?”

Laurence breathed deeply, looking down.

“I’m actually a little sick at the moment, that’s why I’m going to the Choir, Old Blood may be a holy medium but it cannot heal everything, thus I need to do some of my own research and they have the resources up there”

For a girl of ten she took it maturely, and nodded solemnly.

“I know Laurence, it’s your arm isn’t it?”

Laurence had to physically prevent himself from pulling at it, the afflicted limb was still entirely bandaged and hidden under the long, loose fitting sleeves of his robes. It had been getting slightly worse, with the darkening of the veins spreading up the arm to the rest of his body. 

“In part” Laurence resigned, not expanding upon it further.

Amelia turned back to her textbook, taking it and wrapping her arms around it before laying it beneath her chin.

“Beware the frailty of men.” She murmured, an old saying he had repeated many times when thinking of Byrgenwerth and Master Willem. .

Laurence narrowed his eyes, standing from his desk he walked over to the armchair, kneeling beside Amelia. She continued to observe him, eyes filled with silent worry. Slowly Laurence reached to the back of his neck with his right hand and pulled off a gold pendant on a long chain, holding it in his hands for a moment, he passed it to Amelia, who took it, eyes wide with curiosity.

“My father was a priest back in England, and when he passed, he left this to me, to care for and imbue with my own memories and power.”

Amelia softly touched the pendant, following the raised pattern on its casing.

“It will be yours one day and it’ll be something to remember me by if you so choose to.”

“I hope I won’t have it for a while,” she said softly.

*** 

“I want Klara and her group to scope the canals and aqueducts in full, no crevice left unscoured, with luck the beasts will still be only beginning to crawl out so there may be a chance to get them before they’re especially violent.”

“Yes Captain.”

Ludwig looked up from the small structural planning map placed on the cold, damp pavement. It was an ancient thing, worn around the edges and unclear in sections, but it did provide the best observation into the structural anatomy of the more recluse and obscure sections of Central Yharnam, where the beasts tended to gather in greater numbers. Ludwig just hoped the beasts would be thin in numbers tonight, as they had been on other nights surprisingly, but even so, the hunt never provided an opportunity to rest, he couldn't even remember the last time he had slept at a reasonable hour. With any luck though the hunt tonight would be over quickly, the beasts hadn’t appeared in numbers as high as usually anticipated, so it was promising. Looking to the map, Ludwig just hoped he had covered every base, but he had faith in his hunters, and their skills. 

He turned to the remaining group of hunters behind him, diverse in their ages, but they were all new to the hunt. Townspeople that took up weapons and joined the cause had the steepest learning curve, but all the training in the world could not prepare them for the night of the hunt. They clutched their weapons tightly and huddled themselves in an attempt to stave off the chattering of teeth and anxiety induced sweat that was beginning to gather. 

Ludwig looked at them, standing tall and drawing his Moonlight Sword, he cast it down into a crevice in the pavement before him. 

“Are you afraid?” he asked the small group gently, but firmly. 

One looked away and nodded furiously. Three just shook their heads and the fifth just started with a blank fish like stare. 

Ludwig sighed, “Fear is what makes us different from the beasts, use your fear to develop skills and strength so no one else may feel this same sense of horror and dread. One day the hunt will come to an end, and you can say that you did all you could and overcame your fear to protect all those you care about.”

The Hunters clutched their weapons tighter. A few nodded, whilst another just started breathing more erratically. Nevertheless, the hunt had to go on, and he would lead these recruits to becoming valiant defenders of Yharnam. 

Ludwig smiled at them and drew his sword up, turning around he pointed ahead, to where the screech of beasts was clear and the smell of blood stronger. 

“Are you ready?”

*** 

Laurence had nearly finished his reports. Leaning back in the chair, he flexed his right hand a few times in an attempt to remove the cramp gathering there before it got too severe.

Turning to Amelia behind him, he noticed she had long fallen asleep, leaning off the right side of the armchair, textbook still laying against her lap. It was probably too late to move her back to her quarters, perhaps it was better just to let her rest.

Standing up, Laurence stretched, allowing his stiff neck and shoulders to crack and flex as he sought to invigorate some life into them. Laurence wondered how late it was, perhaps the hunt would be coming to an end. He could only hope.

Laurence moved slowly to the recently replaced door, careful not to be too loud as to wake Amelia. Slipping out to the hallway and exiting out to the courtyard, standing in the entrance-way, he observed the scenery. A twisted tree at the centre surrounded by a cottage garden, overgrown with vines and tall grasses that swayed gently in the night air, if he didn’t know better it would have almost seemed like the Hunt wasn’t ravaging the town below. 

Stepping onto the stairs, he stretched again, looking up to the night sky. The moon almost seemed to be looking directly at him, he could almost feel that cold, all-knowing and yet alien stare. Just how much did she have to do with the hunt? Did she view her actions as just? Were concepts like those too banal for her to even consider?

“Flora… I’ll go back for Gehrman soon; you won’t have him forever” Laurence muttered. Another thing to do, and significantly harder to achieve. How long had it been? He wasn't sure anymore, time seemed more and more inconsistent, just as it likely was for Gehrman. Nightmare realms were never logical. 

Rubbing his eyes and savouring the momentary peace, he looked to the garden again, he smiled as he looked at the base of the tree, he had taken Ludwig here after a hunt and forced him to relax as he healed some minor lacerations. Laurence smirked at the thought. Ludwig could have taken any blood vial, even the most diluted, low grade blood would have sufficed, but he still came and got the Vicar with his report and mentioned in passing that he would need to go to the infirmary, of to which Laurence naturally took the arm of the hunter and simply said he had the capabilities here, so he should really come to the courtyard, amongst the soft grass and gentle light of the morning and accept purely medical attention. They had both laid it on thick, Laurence knew exactly what Ludwig was doing but ignored it, and it appeared Ludwig did the same. 

The Vicar sighed. Ludwig was one of the few people that put the Vicar at ease. He could pretend he was completely fine to anyone else, clerics, townspeople, saints and even hunters, but he also felt like he didn’t need to when with Ludwig, as if really, the man wouldn't care if he saw the Vicar in a less than acceptable state. 

Laurence looked back to the sky, the hunt was still a while off ending yet, it put him on edge, but he could deal with those issues later, when he was more together, when he was having some success. 

Laurence rubbed his eyes and again, and ran a hand through his hair, and moved forward till his whole body was bathed in the gentle light of the celestial body. It was calming, he felt at peace if even temporary. He closed his eyes and breathed deep. 

The first sickening crunch should have alerted him to his mistake. 

Another crack.

Laurence felt his blood run cold before he suddenly felt his temperature rise. He felt his heart begin pounding so loudly it felt like the church bells were in his head.

_Crack!_

A wave of pure agony, washed through Laurence’s afflicted arm, he felt heat rise throughout his body, not the dull fever variety, but white hot. Like being scalded by an iron from the inside out.

He almost screamed out, collapsing to his knees he grunted and winced in pain, desperately attempting not to scream. But as another flash of pain erupted though his body, he couldn't help it. 

He clutched his afflicted arm, breathing hard, desperately attempting not to scream out again. But as every bone seemed to crack with a sickening crunch and grinding feeling, he ground his teeth, but couldn’t help it as he released a sharp scream before biting into his lower lip. 

The fire was in him. Waves of pain washed through his entire being.

He couldn’t think straight, he couldn’t will himself to move.

It was only agony.

His skin split. Blood poured out of the wounds, staining his robes, the bandages were shredded by the sudden musculature of his arm convulsing and expanding as the bones reformed and enlarged.

His breathing only got heavier and more erratic.

It was blind panic.He desperately ground his teeth together so strongly again he wouldn’t have been surprised if they cracked. 

“Laurence?!”

No, No. No!!!

Laurence from his crippled position on the ground, couldn’t see her, but he knew Amelia stood in the door frame.

“Laurence!!!” she cried out again, rushing to his side, bending down in an attempt to grasp onto him to give him some kind of support. What more could she do now? She didn’t understand what was going on, why was this happening?

“Ughhhh, Amelia, get away!” Laurence managed to hiss through gritted teeth.

Amelia only held tighter to his right arm.

“No! Come inside! Laurence please!”

She desperately attempted to lift him, or at least try to get him to move so she could see what was hurting him so. She couldn’t let him suffer like this. But she lacked the ability to force him up, and was afraid of hurting him more, she didn’t know what to do.

Suddenly, it hit her.

“I’ll get a Cleric!” She shot up and began to run back to the hallway.

Laurence through a haze of agony was just able to reach around, looking directly at her.

“No!”

He cried out, more forceful and in such a desperate voice it barely seemed like his own. 

Amelia whipped back around half afraid for him and of him, clutching her arms to her chest.

Laurence couldn’t do this, but he couldn’t have anyone else know.

“Ludwig! Bring Ludwig”

Amelia bolted, out to the Cathedral Ward courtyards to Odeon Chapel. She had to find the Holy Blade…somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this is like 40% made up backstory, but like, FromSoftware shouldn't have given us such fascinating characters and then like three pieces of dialogue and boss fight and leave it at that. So here we are
> 
> Thanks for sticking around in this hell, I appreciate it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig weighs up the hunt and his increasing concern of Laurence. Whilst Laurence usually had 4 brain-cells, but a mixture of sleep deprivation, the crushing weight of the world and anxiety has reduced that to about 1.5, but it's a good thing Amelia makes up for the lost ones.

The screeches of beasts were coming from all directions, Ludwig could barely pinpoint their exact locations.

The stench of blood and beasts was beginning to permeate the whole city again, it was inescapable. Soon blood would flow down every gutter and pool in every crevice in the streets. Ludwig looked to the sky, the moon was large again tonight, shining so brightly it obscured the stars around it. It was usually a worrying sign, but to the Holy Blade, he felt more alive than ever, as if the moonlight itself energised and raised him up. It was one of the few positives of the hunt, but in the less ethereal reality, there were screeches from beasts, the ringing out of a firearm or worse yet, the scream of a falling hunter and the ever present choking scent of burning flesh

Breathing heavily and desperately attempting to not place too much weight on his right leg, which had met the salivating jaws of a scourge beast as he had attempted to kick it off a roof to the shadowy depths below. Three of his team were dead, young ones, they got bold, then placed too much faith in their weapons and didn’t fear the beasts enough.

He couldn’t save them. No! he didn’t save them, this was his fault, he should have observed their training more, or something…. anything but this.

Motioning with his hand to the remaining two hunters to go on, he got them to head towards the Great Bridge, the beasts would be scarce there at least. He would take whatever remained here in the alleys.

The beast’s claws scratching against the cobblestones and pavers was near deafening to him. He could hear their pants and the low growls, getting louder and closer. Ludwig raised his sword, crouching low, he attempted to triangulate the sound of the beasts. Closing his eyes for only a moment – he saw it. a hairline of light, just the slightest flicker, it was all he needed.

With one leap, he heard the Beast come from behind, so he met it. he leaned on his front foot, forcing his body forward, bringing his sword in a downward motion, the green light slicing right through the beast. Blood sprayed from the wound and the beast screeched as it was propelled back.

Ludwig paid it no mind; it would be dead soon enough. He pivoted in a semi-circle and readjusted his blade. He could already feel the next beast coming.

“REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

The beast screeched horrifically. But it didn’t even phase the hunter. The beast lunged, Ludwig side stepped, moving to the side to avoid the swipe of the claws. The beast missed at all tries, and the Holy Blade prepared himself for the next attack. Locking his feet into position, he drew back the sword for a moment, letting the energy imbue itself, before lunging forward, forcing the blade and arcane light through the beast. It was near incinerated.

He pivoted again and ran towards the end of the alley towards the Great Bridge. There were likely two others, he could hear the claws scraping and chasing him on both sides.

Simple.

As he listened for the claws on the stones getting increasingly louder, he could almost hear the pants and gnashing of the beast’s jaws. He stopped abruptly, just before the opening to the alley, the Great Bridge was in sight. He swung first to the right, and leapt forward, meeting the beast that hadn’t even begun its attack yet with the swing of his sword, bringing the head clean off.

The second beast however was faster, it leapt at him from behind before he was able to fully swing around and slashed him across the arm with its claws.

Ludwig bit back a cry as the blood began to flow and he felt the wound begin to sting.

He sidestepped the second attack, this one was a fully formed scourge beast, near black fur, red eyes and razor-sharp black claws. It snarled at him, and he met it by raising his sword. As it lunged, jaws salivating, Ludwig lowered himself, and rolled out of the way, the beast leapt over him, and he was able to raise the tip of the blade and run it along the soft underbelly of the beast.

It screeched and collapsed, allowing him to rise and pivot to slice the head off.

That was all for now.

He panted heavily, looking at the wound on his arm, it was deep but nothing a blood vial couldn’t help heal. But there would be time for that.

He broke into a run towards the Great Bridge to check on the hunters, he couldn’t see much scourge caused destruction which was thankful and the blood was meagre, only sprays of it here and there, it was a good sign. As he cut through a few aggressive carrion crows that had suddenly appeared, he could see thankfully that the beasts were thinned out in numbers in the area, a few still bleeding corpses of scourge beasts lined the pavements, the dark red blood flowing through the cracks and pooling in sunken areas. 

As Ludwig approached the section closer to Cathedral Ward, he was surprised to see his hunter’s crowded around in a circle near the door that least to the Cathedral Ward courtyards.

He slowed down, approaching carefully he could hear some of them speaking in hushed voices, whilst one hunter was kneeling down. Ludwig could make out a small figure in a white dress.

But there should be no children out. It was the night of the Hunt – maybe it was an orphan?

As he approached, one hunter shot up and jogged over to him.

“Thank the Gods Captain, there’s a girl, she says she was looking for you! She came from the Cathedral Ward door. What should we do with her? Do we send her back?”

Ludwig waved his hand at the hunter, and she stopped speaking, instead breathing erratically in panic.

“Just breathe hunter, I’ll take care of this – she was looking for me no?”

“Yes” breathed the newly recruited hunter, stepping out of the way and allowing him to pass.

He walked forward, looking down at the young girl he recognised the light blonde hair, it was Amelia, which only heightened his concern. Of all people she should know not to leave Cathedral Ward on the night of the hunt. He knelt next to her as she fidgeted with her hands, blue eyes staring at him intently.

“Oh Ludwig thank the Gods you’re here!” She stammered slightly, moving closer to him. She was pale with fear and flinched when she heard a beast’s roar. She was shaking and her eyes kept darting around, but she swallowed deep and looked to the Hunter. 

“Laurence needs you now, he told me to come find you” she whispered, eyes wide with worry, skin drained of blood.

Ludwig’s blood ran cold. He stood up dramatically, looking down at the young girl. Gods she was lucky, what if he hadn’t been near the bridge? Was she just going to wander around all of Yharnam looking for him on the night of the hunt? Why would Laurence’s have sent her off on such a deadly mission? It didn’t matter anymore he supposed, she was safe for the moment. But if she was here then Laurence must have really been in danger, he had never asked for Ludwig on the night of the hunt, let alone send a child!

But what mattered was making sure Amelia stayed safe and that Laurence was okay. 

“Lead me to him.”

***

Ludwig told his hunters to continue to guard the bride, they should survive the night then even with the few numbers they were. They were shocked that their Captain would leave them, but seemed to understand the gravity of the situation, even if they didn't know what was going on. 

Ludwig had followed Amelia through the dark, incense choked tunnel back into the Cathedral Ward courtyards, and though it was no fault of her own, she was comparatively slow. When she had mentioned Laurence was near his office, Ludwig just picked her up and slung her under one arm like a ragdoll. Picking up the pace, through the silent, still courtyards and cold stone paths of the Cathedral Ward, the two made it there in no time.

The hunter gently placed Amelia down as he made his way through the hallways to the courtyard. He could smell the stench of a beast and didn’t think it was residual from the hunt. Walking into the threshold, he couldn’t see Laurence, but acknowledged the slight trail of blood that led back to his office. Not a particularly subtle sign, but one that terrified him nevertheless. Marching towards the door, he stopped just short of busting it open, he couldn’t hear anything. Ludwig wasn’t sure whether it disturbed or relieved him.

He knocked slowly, almost timidly on the door. His first thought had been to bust it off its hinges again, but the risk of terrifying Laurence potentially and doing even more damage to the office was not a reasonable idea.

No response.

Ludwig knocked again, louder. Amelia came closer, looking up to him as if fearing the worst. Ludwig looked down to her briefly, before releasing a sigh and just opening the heavy oaken door.

With their hearts pounding, the Holy Blade and apprentice flung the door open the whole way.

Ludwig’s gut twisted, Laurence was lying in his chair, splayed across his desk, needle connected to blood ministration equipment forced into his left arm. Blood splattered the desk and Laurence seemed non-responsive.

Ludwig couldn’t help himself, he bolted directly over to the Vicar and desperately began to shake his right shoulder, more violently than one may have recommended for someone hooked up to blood ministration equipment.

“Laurence? Laurence? Laurence!?”

He shook harder.

“AUGHHHHH!”

The Vicar bolted upright, and in a panic, flung his head around in confusion and shock, as if to locate danger. When his eyes settled on Ludwig’s worried face, splattered in blood, he slowly was able to realise what was happening.

Taking a deep breath and crumpling back into the desk, he groaned.

“Ludwig?” he murmured weakly “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Ludwig could only smile weakly, breathing a sigh of relief, he leaned on the office desk.

“Laurence, how are you feeling? How’s your arm? Are you still in pain?”

Amelia had come over as well, rushing her words as she tried desperately to control her panic for Laurence’s sake.

Laurence raised his head, looking down to his apprentice.

“No, I’m fine now…. An idiot undoubtedly, but I’m fine for the moment.”

“Laurence tell us what happened? Now.” Ludwig enquired firmly.

Laurence took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes with his right hand.

“The moon on the night of the hunt…. It emboldens the beasts, it, to an extent, is connected to the scourge, so it only makes sense that it would twist the scourge and strengthen its grasp on the bodies and minds of the afflicted”

He collapsed into the back in the chair, exhausted, and moving his body slightly to the right, Ludwig and Amelia were greeted to the sight of his arm. Ludwig wasn’t sure what level of worry he should be at. It was certainly far more sinewy, and the claws were certainly longer and he could see the angry darkened veins snaking around, he guessed that they probably had extended further towards Laurence’s torso and head.

“I was an idiot to overlook such a simple factor, I thought the moon simply enraged and energised the already-turned.” 

Laurence looked over to Amelia, who was looking exceptionally ill, face almost a sickly green, but she didn’t move, she didn’t look away and she didn’t even cry. She was stronger than he could ever hope to be. She was taking this surprisingly well all things considered.

“I’m sorry for frightening you, and for not telling you the truth, I simply wanted to protect you from it all. But that’s no longer feasible, so all I ask is that you don’t mention this to anyone else.”

Amelia swallowed dry and nodded her head briskly.

Ludwig stood up from the desk, and lay a supportive arm on Laurences shoulder in support, but also so he could steady himself. For a hunter that could handle all manner of beasts and horrors, but the unknown element and increased danger of Laurence's condition made Ludwig uncomfortable. However, that didn't excuse some other aspect

“Laurence… want to explain to me why you sent a ten year old to find me… on the  _ night of the hunt _ ?” 

Laurence groaned and lay his head back down on the desk. He had really not thought that through in the skightet, he could only engage with the limbic and panicked section of his brain that wanted someone he deeply trusted. And in doing so endangered the life of someone he cared for deeply. 

“Amelia… I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly a-”

“It’s fine!” she interrupted. 

Laurence looked over to the girl, she had a look of determination that did not match the fact she also looked as if she was about to collapse. 

“I handled it and I’ll do even better in the future, you can count on me for anything.” she stated, moving closer to Laurence and taking his right arm. 

Laurence could only nod weakly and reach out his right hand to gently pat her on the head and brush a few loose strands of pale hair from her face behind her ears. 

“You’re a lot braver than I.” he smiled.

Ludwig moved back and walked around to stand behind Amelia, 

“What do we do now?” he asked quietly, looking into Laurences bloodshot green eyes. Laurence only gave a pained smile and looked over to his afflicted arm, still connected to the blood ministration equipment. It had saved him this time, soothed him and reduced the pain and intensity of the affliction, but the continual need to increase the dosage was concerning. 

“I’m going to the research laboratory, and I don’t think I’ll be out for some time, now that I can confirm the intensity of it all, and with the few answers I have, I need to be as focused as possible. No matter what, and at any cost, I will cure this, may the Blood will it.”

Looking back to Ludwig and Amelia, he did feel a sense of relief. Neither had bolted at the truth, neither had abandoned him. He would succeed. And at that he breathed out a slight laugh, smiling for a moment. 

“Uh, Laurence? I don’t mean to alarm you, but ahhhh, have you undergone any dental surgery recently?”

Ludwig had leaned in far closer than before, brown eyes steely as he stared unblinkingly at Laurence, the lack of distance between them would have been pleasant if not for the circumstances. Laurence was rather taken aback. He half-mindedly ran his tongue along the back of his front teeth. 

“Oh by the Great Ones”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst incoming... that is all.

All things considered Amelia had handled it all rather well. Though clearly shocked at first and then later distraught, she had eventually come around by her belief in Laurence and that when he cured himself, he could help everyone else that had been afflicted. So, she stayed silent, attending to her duties, only very rarely being able to visit Laurence where he had now officially cloistered himself away in a dark research laboratory with no intention to leave.

Ludwig was growing increasingly concerned with each passing night, even when Laurence claimed he had made a new development or stated that he felt he was getting closer, he couldn’t shake the sickening feeling that it was only going to get worse. Even if Laurence was maybe getting closer, being trapped all night in that rather depressing research laboratory with only the dull flickering of candlelight to keep him company wasn’t healthy, certainly not mentally. When Ludwig had last visited him, he had seemed too joyful, smiling as he excitedly attempted to explain to Ludwig the recent developments. Ludwig had only blankly nodded his head and grunted in agreement where it seemed appropriate, he should. 

In truth it seemed to him that Laurence was speaking an entirely different language. He had picked up keywords – Old Blood, Bloodmoon, cord, ministration, runes, embrace, Ashen Blood, arcane. But even during this time it was like there was some obscure horror that made Laurence’s demeanour seem almost uncomfortable. He had to find a way to help Laurence balance it all, the Vicar had even got the clerics to cover his daytime duties. Which of course meant everyone was whispering and gossiping. Ludwig could only deny and attempt to prevent them from getting too extravagant. 

***

Ludwig sighed deeply and rubbed his aching wrist. The hunt had come to an end for another night. He had overseen slashed, disembowelled, and hacked bodies of hunters brought to Cathedral Ward to be cleaned and prepared for their final rights before being shipped to Hemwick Charnel Lane. At least how it used to be, he had heard rumours the women of Hemwick were working in conjunction with Mensis, but people needed the bodies disposed of safely, so the Church was willing to turn a blind eye. 

But those bodies weren’t only one aspect, behind closed doors, some of the hunter’s corpses brought back had slashes that could only be caused by blades, the blades of hunters. Some were beginning to whisper of ‘blood lust’ caused by the beasts or the moon which forced them to attack their own comrades without realising it. Ludwig would have to look into that another time. 

He turned away from the bodies, their families and friends would be here soon enough and they would need privacy. Ludwig rubbed his eyes as he made his way out of the medical halls, traipsing tiredly down the stone stairs to the gated courtyards. The twisted trees were shaking off the last of their leaves, a true winter would be upon them soon, though there hadn't been snow in many years, though there was always cold sleet that rained down and made the hunt ever more difficult with the added element of the the sludge that froze all parts of the body, and the fact the beasts never seemed deterred or even slowed by the weather. Ludwig exhaled audibly, reaching and pulling his cloak further around himself before yawning. He could barely keep his eyes open. 

A bath to rid himself of the coagulated blood that stuck to him alongside the eternal scent of beasts and then sleep. Yes, that was the ideal plan, he may even be able to get a few hours in if he hurried before having to begin working on reports and the personal letters to the families of the fallen hunters. 

He groaned and rubbed his eyes again, whilst walking down the stone steps back to his quarters, but as he passed Odeon Chapel, he noticed a small figure. Sitting on the stairs that led to the lower sections of Cathedral Ward, a young girl clad in white with a head of light blonde hair. Ludwig smiled slightly; it was a little early for her to be up really. As he approached, he could see she was hunched over, his brow furrowed.

“Amelia?” Ludwig knelt down and reached out a hand to touch her shoulder lightly.

Amelia jolted a little bit, sat up and turned around to Ludwig.

“Oh! Sorry Ludwig, I was in a world of my own.” She murmured, sitting up straighter and rubbing her eyes. Ludwig could see they were slightly red and bleary. The Hunter moved forward and sat next to her at a comfortable distance. She was Laurence’s protegee and had taken the fact that he and Laurence were something a little more than just friends very well, even coming to him a couple more times since finding the truth out about Laurence. But he still couldn't say that he knew her well, nevertheless, if she needed help or someone to talk to he would attempt to be there. 

“Amelia, what’s wrong?” 

Amelia said nothing, just clasped her hands together and looked down, expression reserved. 

“Is it something I can help with?” he offered gently. 

Amelia brought her arms to her chest and sniffled slightly. Swallowing, she looked to the Holy Blade. 

“Laurence will barely see me, he wouldn’t let me in the laboratory… but when I did see him in the hallway, he looked worse. He kept trying to tell me everything was fine, all was good… but… he… he seemed so strange.” she whispered. She glanced around, as if to check if anyone was listening. 

“Ludwig… is he truly going to get better?” 

Ludwig stared down at the girl, who gazed right back with a concerned, yet determined expression. Ludwig sighed, and rubbed his eyes again, 

“I believe in him, I truly do, and I have faith he can figure something out, I mean, look at what he’s built, what the Healing Church strives for. If that doesn't say something then take it on a personal level, has he ever let you down?”

Amelia lifted a hand and rested her chin on it. She contemplated for a moment,

“I… I do believe he can do it, but I just don’t want him to suffer for it.” she stated looking back to Ludwig. “He used to visit the orphanage a lot, the one here, not in Upper Cathedral Ward, the one I live in… he, he always spoke of the properties and healing nature of Old Blood… but… but if that can cure everything, except the scourge seemingly… then what hope is there?” She clutched her hands to her chest again, face becoming pale and she clenched her fists and jaw in concern. 

Ludwig recalled that most of the young orphans in that orphanage became blood saints or clerics. But Amelia being so young and having already effectively being selected for a future Vicar was peculiar. She was young, but the way she cared for all those around her, was diligent in her duties and already studying advanced studies said all it needed to. He could see why Laurence adored her. But she was still a child.

Ludwig reached out a hand and placed it gently on her shoulder. 

“He’ll figure something out, I’m sure of it. In fact, I’ll go check on him and see how he’s doing. Sound okay?”

“But will he see you?” 

“Surely he will, but there’s only one way to find out.” Ludwig smiled, brown eyes warm, though with a sinking pit in his stomach. 

Sleep could wait. 

*** 

“Laurence, I’m not going to bother knocking, I know you’re either in there or being experimented on by the Choir. So if you don’t want me to run around Upper Cathedral Ward like a headless chicken please answer.” 

No response. 

Ludwig had anticipated that. Though he could hear the faint tinkering of vials, so either Laurence was ignoring him, or he was so busy in research he didn’t notice the disembodied voice. Ludwig furrowed his brow, he hoped Laurence wasn’t ignoring him but he needed certainty, not just for him, but for Amelia. 

Ludwig signed audibly, rubbing his increasingly heavy lids,

“Laurence I’m coming in.” 

Ludwig reached for the heavy brass handle, sighing as he tried to force down the churching feeling in his stomach and the tightness in his chest. And opened the door with a loud creak. As the meagre candlelight from the dark hall met with the flickering light of the dim laboratory. Ludwig breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the door frame. He saw Laurence, sprawled out across his desk, vials and equipment strewn about haphazardly. 

Ludwig began to approach the sleeping man softly; he didn't want to startle him. He narrowed his gaze, he could see blood ministration equipment connected to his bandaged left arm, the glass ministration bottle empty. Ludwig looked to the desk, there were empty vials, however they didn’t appear to be for blood. He gently picked one up and turned it in the candlelight, he could see the remnants of a wax seal and the drops of a brown liquid. He tilted his head and raised it slowly to his nose, breathing deeply. He stifled a cough, it was something he had smelt in those dens and other shadier areas, particularly in Old Yharnam.  Laudanum. He lowered the bottle and looked to the table, breathing sharply he saw at least two other empty bottles. He grimaced. When he had last seen Laurence a week ago… was he hiding this then? Or was this a recent development? He had never expected the man to turn to such vices. Was his illness causing that much pain? Or was he attempting to cope with it all? 

Ludwig grimaced, he would have no answers until Laurence awoke, and went to place the bottle back down, as he stood up, he looked to the head of Laurence, his dark blond hair illuminated in the candlelight and splayed across his rather calm face. Ludwig tilted his head and smiled as he saw there were stray bits of hair in his partially open mouth. The hunter gently reached forward and intended to move them behind his ear. As he gently touched Laurence’s face, and Vicar shot up in his chair, shocking Ludwig

“AGHHHH!” Laurence snarled, his canines flashing and with his left arm swiped directly at Ludwig. The Hunter just managed to fling himself back out of reach. The ministry equipment connected to Laurence ripped from his arm and a steady flow of blood began to drip. Ludwig breathed rapidly, clutching at his chest so he wasn’t tempted to reach for his sword. There was no need for that surely. 

Laurence hung over the side of the chair, leaning forward, hair drooping and obscuring his face as he panted, partially bandaged left arm hanging limply whilst blood dripped down from his blackened claws. 

“Fuck….” Laurence breathed, still seemingly out of it. 

Ludwig took a deep breath and calmed himself and stood straight. Laurence raised his right hard to clasp over his eyes.

“Ludwig…. What… what are you doing here?” He breathed out slowly, sounding more akin to a hiss. Eyes still obscured. 

Ludwig tilted his head and took a step towards the Vicar,

“I’m sorry for startling you, but I just came to check how you were.” he said as calmly and controlled as possible. Did Laurence realise what he had just done? Was he aware? Ludwig wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed. 

“Fuck…” Laurence breathed again, removing his hand and straightening himself to look at the Hunter. “You couldn’t have just knocked?” he said, shooting daggers at Ludwig. 

“Laurence you we’re dead to the world, you wouldn't have answered any-”

“And so it’s okay just to barge in then?” the Vicar hissed, rubbing his eyes again before sliding the chair back with a grating sound and standing up. He looked to the Hunter again, he was covered in beast blood, he could smell it permeating the air and the hunter looked exhausted. 

“You reek Ludwig, and since you’re here I assume the hunt is over. So leave and go sleep.” Laurence muttered tiredly. 

Ludwig folded his arms. Laurence somehow kept looking worse and worse if that was even possible. Eyes seemingly permanently bloodshot and he could barely focus was only the beginning, he was looking more gaunt and his lips were cracked and bloody. Ludwig winced at that and took a deep breath, moving towards the Vicar. 

“Laurence, please, you should take your own advice.” 

“I was until you came and decided to terrify me.” 

“Ahhhh yes Laurence, the healthy and fulfilling Laudanum induced slumber, it seems to be doing wonders for you” Ludwig retorted stepping closer. 

He saw Laurence look away, seemingly embarrassed and fold his arms.

“Ludwig, please just leave. I can't have my research interrupted.” 

Ludwig sighed and reached out gently to Laurence, however the Vicar pulled away and stepped back. The hunter was rather taken aback but did not push it.

“Laurence… you need to take a break or at least leave this damn room for some time. See Amelia, go for a walk around here, just don’t push yourself back into this Godsforsaken research.” Ludwig asserted, getting increasingly concerned and ever so slightly annoyed. 

Laurence ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it before turning his cold gaze back to Ludwig. 

“Ludwig you don’t _understand_ the severity of the situation, I. Need. To. Do. This!” He responded voice raising. 

“Then explain it to me!” Ludwig snapped back, stepping closer to Laurence. 

“As if you could possibly comprehend this!” Laurence yelled, flinging his arms in an outward manner, gesturing to the research. “How do you not understand the severity of what’s happening?! The lives of Yharnam are on the line!” Laurence could feel the familiar tightness in his throat and chest. 

He desperately tried to deepen his breathing, but it just wound up becoming shorter and shallower. He began to shake ever so slightly. He couldn't endanger Ludwig, not Amelia either, not with how things were progressing. 

He needed total isolation, then he could do what he needed to do without fear. 

He needed more time. 

Ludwig noticed and stepping forward, clutched Laurence’s shoulders 

“Laurence…. Please.” he pleaded. 

“I NEED TO DO THIS!” Laurence screamed, forcing Ludwig back, clutching himself and bending over slightly. His breathing was getting more erratic.

“Leave! I don’t want to see you. Under _any_ circumstance!” 

Ludwig swallowed his shock, straightened up and stepped away. There was nothing he could do with Laurence like this. He turned on heel and didn't bother closing the door. 

Laurence sunk to the floor and wrapped his arms around himself. This was becoming more and more like a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah if it ain’t got useless edge and angst, then what’s the point. 
> 
> Thanking anyone who’s still here, I appreciate every one of you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something lighter before we return to our usual programming.

Ludwig groaned, slumping further over the stone banisters of the courtyard that overlooked Yharnam below. It was rare he ever saw it in the mid-afternoon sun. He was often still dead to the world after staying up all night in a seemingly never-ending hunt, but the warm sun on his neck and face couples with the near cloudless sky that chased away a great deal of negativity was pleasant at this moment, especially after that debacle with Laurence. Gods. He had recalled previously how gentle and caring the Vicar had been, even with a sharp tongue. He had never acted that way… but Ludwig couldn’t shake the feeling this went deeper than the scourge and the research. Was he imagining things? 

“Not a bad view is it? It almost makes it all worth it.”

Groggily Ludwig raised his head and turned around to the voice that interrupted his thoughts. 

The smirking face of a Church hunter came into view, Ludwig smiled despite the exhaustion and turmoil. 

“Almost, I’d say the people are more important, they make it worth it. Wouldn’t you agree Simon?”

Simon approached, coming to lean with his back to the banisters next to Ludwig, he sighed and turned to his Captain. Despite being notably younger than Ludwig and other higher-ranking peers, his skills exceeded every expectation. But he preferred to work alone, obscured by shadows and darkness, almost reminiscent of the Workshop Hunters of the previous generation. The perfect harrowed hunter. 

“What’s got you all stressed Captain? Already thinking of the next hunt. Honestly, you need a break, go see the ocean or something, or just go back to bed.” Simon laughed, though it was clear he was pressing for some information, the way the Captain was acting was uncharacteristic.

Ludwig only groaned and leant further over the bannisters.

Simon tilted his head, standing upright he slapped Ludwig’s shoulder with friendly force.

“Come on Ludwig, you can tell me what’s happening, I won’t mention it to anyone.”

Simon was earnest, ever since Ludwig had seen him in the flock of engaged citizens that rose to the call of the hunt, and then saw him vouching to the Healing Church Workshop to let him develop a Bowblade rather than force him to use a firearm. Ludwig had permitted a small elite group of hunters to watch for early signs of the scourge and take it out and after watching Simon’s training, his skills, his friendly and open demeanour along with the determination. 

The harrowed hunter had become more than just a subordinate, he was a friend. Maybe it was safe to tell him what was happening. Maybe. But… it was not just Laurence’s condition that concerned him, it was the distancing, which made Ludwig doubt certain aspects of the Vicar’s attention to him. 

“Say Simon, do you have someone you care for? Deeply, as in more deeply than just a simple friendship?”

Simon leaned his head back contemplatively,

“If you’re referring to a romantic partner then no. However, relations with friends, family and other platonic interests can be just as valuable in my opinion. So, I suppose so. Why? has the great Holy Blade finally found someone to settle down with? Now that would be something everyone could gossip about. It would be talk of the town.”

Ludwig tousled some of his long hair back,

“Maybe” he sighed, ignoring Simon’s light-hearted jest, “But it’s complicated, and I’m not sure whether he is the way he is acting the way he is because he’s insanely stressed and can’t think entirely clearly or because he’s genuine not as interested and I just entertained his time. I fear for him, both for his situation and what it means, but also that I may have misunderstood our whole relationship”

Simon narrowed his eyes, and began to nod his head slowly, folding his arms, he reclined back again and for a moment, contemplated. 

“Just ask him, simple. You may just be projecting insecurity, not that I’d think that you’d do that… but just talk to him.”

Ludwig stood up, blinking, and turned to Simon. Was it really that simple? Well, perhaps in a normal circumstance, but now after Laurence’s last words to him. No, it was more complicated than ever. 

But Simon wasn’t done, cocking his head to the side, he let a smile creep onto his face.

“It’s not by any chance Vicar Laurence is it?”

Ludwig went to deny but couldn’t find the words. He just let his mouth gape like a fish for a second. Before blinking and raising a finger to Simon, who was holding back a choke of laughter.

It was rare to catch the Holy Blade in such a confused, disorganised way and he savoured every moment.

“Ah” was all Ludwig said, expression still blank.

Simon couldn’t help himself and began to snort his laughter back.

“Ugh, please don’t mention it.” 

Simon, who was unfazed and still snickering, waved his hand dismissively.

“Ohhhhhhh don’t worry, only half the Church has suspected for the last few months, but I promise I won’t confirm.”

 _Half the Church?_ Ludwig felt his consciousness briefly leave his body. He hadn’t realised anyone was watching that closely. Oh gods this was a horrible situation. He would never be able to look them all in the eye… but maybe they didn’t care? But Laurence was the Vicar first of all. 

Ludwig groaned and put his face in his hands as Simon laughed harder. 

“You don’t think it’s slightly scandalous?” Ludwig stated eventually, forcing himself to react, crossing his arms and looking to the ground, which was suddenly very fascinating and not remotely because he felt his face growing warm.

“Ohhh Captain, of course, but not the reason you think. From what I’ve heard from the Clerics, it’s more because they thought you had taken a vow of chastity to go with entirely holy demeanour, and the Vicar is just not one to ever leave his work.”

Simon laughed outright again, leaning even further into the banisters. Enjoying the Holy Blade being entirely taken aback.

“They’ve been saying Laurence is quite busy at the moment, tell me Captain… You've been keeping him company, I gather?” 

Ludwig only coughed in response, which earned another laugh from Simon. Ludwig would prefer to leave it to Simon’s imagination, because nothing would ever compare to the truth of the situation. 

“So you think I should just ask him outright?”

Simon furrowed his brow and stopped laughing. He looked to his Capitan. The man looked concerned, tired and overall conflicted, it was uncharacteristic, but so was him talking about his emotions honestly with most people. Simon valued that about Ludwig, he was truly an honourable man, and if Simon could help him with his predicament, then he would. 

“I don’t know what else to say, but this is the same as the Hunt.”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean that without communication, _clear_ communication, nothing will get done and whilst people may not die in this situation, it is still better to avoid a bad situation entirely.”

Ludwig looked back to Simon, who really was enjoying this too much. He nodded his head and stood straight.

“In retirement you should offer psycho analysis and mediation”

Simon barked out a laugh, the joke was poor, but he was also probably laughing at the whole situation. He then began to walk away slapping Ludwig’s shoulder in a friendly manner.

“Good luck with it all Captain,” He called out from over his shoulder, “Let me know how it goes.”

Ludwig watched on as Simon disappeared into central Cathedral Ward.

Just ask him?

That really wasn’t the concern here though was it? Even before today Laurence had barely left the laboratory; he was still afflicted with the scourge. Ludwig still wanted to help him, wanted to protect him. But he couldn’t, this was far out of his league and he had requested he stay away. 

Turning his head to the sky, he watched the white fluffy clouds float lazily without a care in the world, and the sun was bright enough to chase the regular chill of the days far away.

He knew he wouldn't be welcome… but… with these circumstances, he vowed to visit Laurence soon.

***

“Fuck! By Mother Kos… Fuck! NO!”

Laurence slammed his fists against the table, causing the vials and equipment to shake dangerously.

Another one! Another failure!

This was going nowhere.

Laurence groaned loudly and collapsed into the chair, rubbing his eyes quite forcefully until one of his claws snagged a bit of skin and cut it. He jolted up, glaring at his afflicted hand. The temptation to just cut it off grew every hour, but that would leave him even more at a disadvantage, and wouldn’t stop the scourge. There were the teeth as well, his incisors had developed and sharpened to points, which now meant he constantly bit into his lips, reducing them to a cracked and bloody mess. 

His most recent experiment had failed. He had tested the reaction of undiluted, entirely formed scourge beast blood in a mixture of Old Blood, purifying elements and a whole cocktail of other chemicals that were usually brilliant to slow everything from necrosis to some cancers. But to no avail. The scourge beast blood had just managed to override it all and consume all the other chemicals. Though it was far slower when trying to abate Old Blood. Laurence knew that was the key, the Old Blood would stop the scourge, he just had to find out how to manipulate it.

Raising his head and looking at the dark, void-like ceiling he just groaned. Whenever there was a good development, fifteen negative ones appeared. Problems that couldn’t be accounted for occurred; he was stuck. He was running out of ideas. He was running out of time. He felt like crying, but no tears would come, so he just sat in the pain of his failure. His thoughts drifted to Amelia, Ludwig and the Church and the entirety of Yharnam – they could all be affected if he couldn’t figure out a way to slow this and find a cure. He had lied to Ludwig last time, claiming he had discovered something new with curing the scourge, but he just tried to make the Holy Blade stop looking at him with those eyes, those ever-worried eyes. Amelia was worse, but understandably so, and he hated worrying her. So, he had discouraged her from visiting him whilst he was still experimenting. Naturally he had felt like the worst person to live - is that what parents feel like when they hide major secrets from their children? He supposed it was better than letting her know the truth of his recent failures. 

He had broached maybe getting the Choir to look into curing the Beastly Scourge with Hildegard, who had just hissed at him like a cat and began to yell in a detached voice about the ‘ _truth_ ’. So, he left it. The Choir would never do anything that prevented them from focusing on their cosmic research. Mensis was completely off the list as well, he hadn't seen Micolash in years and they had then cut off from the Church - they were also increasingly cult like. And if he told the lower echelons of the Church, there would be panic, they would demand more Old Blood, which would aggravate the Choir if they were requested to produce more.

It was hell.

Laurence slumped on his desk. In the weeks of being secluded down here, he had barely a single success to write home about with the beastly scourge as a disease. But as a factor of eldritch research, it was a slightly different story. The dark isolation had provided him with the perfect environment to focus purely on expanding and enlightening his mind. As for months, nearly a year, he had envisioned the image of a symbol. One he couldn't quite form ever, but it was coming to fruition. What existed purely in his mind now lay in a small black box on the desk. 

Absentmindedly, Laurence raised his hand and slowly drew it along the cold wood, feeling the power radiate from what was inside. 

He just hoped that if he ever had to use it, it would actually work. 

Laurence crumpled in the chair again. What more was he to do? He was stuck, researching alone. Laurence looked to the samples of blood and preserved parts of beasts. That was all he had to work with and there was no one to red team his ideas or even help him. He needed something more, it was getting desperate. He reached for a small vial of laudanum, it was something he had indulged in very rarely when he was attending to his usual research and duties, but now they were vital just for him to get through the day. Taking a small swallow, he leaned back and relaxed his thoughts. 

Wait.

The samples.

Maybe that was it. The samples didn’t reflect the Scourge in transition. He had been working with pre-prepared vials, nothing ever fresh. 

Laurence’s eyes widened; his heart began to beat increasingly fast. He shot up out of the chair and back to the table, he picked up the tombs and loose paper and began to scatter them feverishly.

Where was it? Where was it?

He shuffled through all the paper, and then again.

“Ah Hah!” he cried, pulling a bound bundle of slightly burnt papers. He flicked through until he saw it, the blood of the afflicted was different in transition to a fully formed scourge beast of course and he needed to find it fresh.

He recalled the Research Hall, yes, the hours spent presenting the public with the miracle of blood healing and then retreating behind closed doors to the willing patients attempting to ascend. The truth of the Research Hall had long been hidden and forgotten with the death of Lady Maria. But it was the roots of the Church, and sometimes you had to do what you had to do. Ethics could take the back bench, truly he had never cared for such issues if they got in the way of the greater good.

Laurence shot through the doors to the research laboratory. That is one thing that the Choir could at least help him out with.

He grinned; he wasn’t out of options yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was just a headcannon I have that Simon was significantly more open despite his role as a hunter before everything really went to hell and probably knew Ludwig given his dialogue in the dlc, so if it seem ooc I do apologise.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst continues as per our usual programming.   
> As the scourge accelerates, the best way to handle it really isn't drastic experimentation - really should have feared that old blood huh.   
> Nevertheless, when Laurence seems to lack a conscience, there always a second opinion.

Even after he and Simon’s conversation, Ludwig still hadn’t felt confident in attempting to see Laurence again, so he had left it despite his conscience pounding at him to do something. Laurence’s demeanour, stress and focus still worried him sick, but there was seemingly nothing he could do that wouldn’t aggravate Laurence. When he had spoken to. So, he had given it another week, with neither a response, call nor sound from him. 

He had tried to speak to the Choir members, to ask if they had seen him but even, they said they hadn’t or watched him duck away from the seemingly more deranged than usual leader. He couldn’t tell whether they were useless, did not care at all or were so detached from the problems of the corporeal variety that they simply had no time to bother with such unimportant matters as the Vicar of the Healing Church slaving away trying to cure a disastrous disease that had the potential to destroy all of Yharnam. Ludwig lamented that it was probably a combination of the last two. 

But after hours of ruminating, Ludwig had come to a conclusion. Not one of honour or a virtuous philosophy. ‘Fuck it,’ was all that he concluded. He cared for Laurence, a small spat due to the conditions and context of Laurence’s illness wouldn't change that. 

So here he stood, he hadn’t seen Laurence in over a week and barely the week before that, but nevertheless he needed to persist. 

He exhaled softly, and with quick, sharp motions, rapped his knuckles against the door

“Laurence?”

Ludwig heard no response. Though he should really be used to that by now.

But this time it only elevated his anxiety rather than his annoyance. What if the scourge had accelerated? Or mutated? What if Laurence was just working himself to death? Or maybe the scourge was making him act that way? He recalled their last conversation, the stress and pressure that Laurence was under was immense and it made sense why he had been so short, and yet it still hurt. 

There were too many options.

_Knock Knock Knock_

It was too strange of a situation and even with Laurence’s clear dismissal of him, Ludwig couldn’t rest unless he was certain. If Laurence was genuine and wished him away, he would listen, but with how this was going, he would need his own answers. And really, he should be used to breaking into places under such circumstances.

So, with a sharp inhale, Ludwig clasped the handle and slowly, but firmly pressed down and opened the door with a slight creak.

No response.

It was pitch black inside, he could smell beast blood, harsh, acrid chemicals and smoke from the usually burning candles that permeated every crevice, it was harsh but bearable. He walked forward, trying not to fumble over the paper, vials, equipment and supplies that were all over the floor. That was even more uncharacteristic. Managed to reach the table, grabbing it he allowed his eyes to adjust. There wasn’t too much more to see, but something caught his eyes, to the left, obscured by the door there was a mound, elevated off the ground.

Ludwig couldn’t quite make it out.

Ludwig felt his way along the table to where he could make out a stack of candles, he just needed to light them. He felt around for a flint and tinder, there was always one nearby.

“Ah hah.”

He felt the cold chunk beneath his glove, and got to work, it took a few tries, but eventually it just managed to catch. Slowly the dull light built up and the desk at least was lit up. Ludwig lit the others on the desk, so the room at least was mostly illuminated.

But before he could turn to the mound, something to his right caught his eye. There was a body. On the floor. He could recognise it anywhere, the coarse black fur, sickeningly sharp claws and muzzle that contained teeth sharper than any blade. A small, but fully formed scourge beast. It was just lying on the ground, unmoving. 

Ludwig felt his heart race, the thought popped into his head that maybe Laurence had fallen earlier than anticipated, but that couldn't be the case. He stepped closer, kneeling down he reached out to one of the limbs - against his own better judgement. Stiff as a board, rigor mortis had long set it. This beast had been dead for weeks, though it was cold so it must have been prepared specially. His eyes wandered to the meticulous slices and cuts around the torso. Yes - it was just for experimentation. It relaxed Ludwig… slightly. 

Turning back towards the mound behind the main door, he could make out it was an operating table. Which only made his heart to go into overdrive. He desperately attempted to control his breaths as he approached it.

It was probably nothing, just another scourge beast or experiment.

Yes, but what kind of experiment lies on an operating table? He knew.

He took another step closer, noticing the ministration equipment that was connected to whatever was under the blanket on the table.

He breathed even faster, the candle shaking as he took another step forward, it was body shaped. Of course it was, of course it was!

He shuddered and breathed out a shaky breath. He reached out, gritting his teeth.

He pulled it back.

***

“Perfect timing as always” Laurence muttered to himself, uncorking a bottle of laudanum and taking a small swallow, tasing the bitter liquid slide down his throat. He always seemed to run out just when he needed it the most. 

He shuddered and wrapped the cloak further around himself, he wasn't cold, but he still felt like all the heat and energy from his body was rapidly dissipating.

He turned to the left and towards the cold stone stairs that led into the depths of Upper Cathedral Ward.

There still hadn’t been any more positive developments. He would need more blood; more experiments and god forbid more subjects. It was getting out of hand. In another week if there weren't any other developments, he would have to do it like they did in the early days, in the Research Hall, when Maria still lived and the patients flocked willing. 

He ran his hands through his tangled hair, not even caring as his bandaged left-hand tore chunks straight from the roots and sliced along the scalp. 

Making another sharp turn, he was treated to the almost pleasant and familiar darkness of the research laboratories. Breathing out he strode onwards, his elected room coming into view.

Wait…...

He stopped dead in his tracks.

The door was ajar.

No one came down here, he knew that, unless?

Oh no. not him!

Laurence broke into a sprint, overcoming the last section in a matter of seconds and burst into the room, widely whipping his head around to locate the intruder.

“Laurence.”

A dangerously quiet and low voice floated through the air. Laurence’s blood ran cold. He turned to the left, where the hunter stood, leaning on the operating table.

‘ _Oh by Mother Kos no’_ thought Laurence.

“Laurence.” Ludwig stated, just as quiet as before, but edged like a razor blade that sliced through Laurence.

“What... by the Gods…. is this?”

Ludwig breathed out his words quietly, slowly standing to his full height and turned to Laurence. Even in the dull light Laurence could see the steely gaze of the hunter.

Laurence was taken aback. He hadn’t planned this. He hadn’t accounted for this. He didn’t know how to react.

He just stood limply, as the hunter broke the dark stare turned back to the body.

The woman lying on the table was still breathing, ministration equipment hooked into both her emaciated arms. She didn’t react, she couldn’t hear a thing. Ludwig acknowledged the grafted sections of skin, the wrists that were held open by forceps and staples, veins and flesh open. It made him sick to look at it.

And Laurence just stood there.

Ludwig felt sick right to his stomach, he couldn’t look at her anymore. He bandaged eyes, cracked lips and near translucent skin made it seem even worse.

“Laurence… what, is, this?” Ludwig hissed.

The Vicar jolted. Backing away from the Holy Blade. Never had he felt cautious of him, but now he understood what a beast on the receiving end of his wrath must feel before it's annihilated. Gods he knew Ludwig would never hurt him, but he still felt the panic rise within him. 

Laurence swallowed dry and tried to steady his breath.

“She’s a research patient, she agreed to undergo an experimentation process, she provides a fresh source of blood for me to work with as the scourge deteriorates her, that’s all.”

“That’s all?! Is she willing or is the _Vicar_ just asking?! Think of the power you hold!” Ludwig snapped.

“She’s afflicted with the scourge! All her family is dead, she only has a few months at most! I swear she’s here willingly!” Laurence rasped out with rapid, short breaths.

“And this is the condition to keep her in?!” Ludwig retorted, motioning to the operating table. 

“She’s catatonic! If she was lucid or even functioning where she needed more she wouldn’t be here!”

“Then how did she agree to this!?”

“She was in the research and ministration halls, she had been there for months, she wasn't getting any better and the Old Blood just kept her barely alive. She was conscious but only for short sections of the day, mere minutes at a time! I got a Choir member to investigate and they told me that they had found a willing subject.”

Laurence rushed over to Ludwig, grabbing onto his arm, though he didn’t turn around.

Laurence took a deep, gasping breath in “She agreed to this! She can’t feel any pain! And I’ll release her back to the research halls once this is done. I want to cure her! And everyone else like her, anyone’s that suffering from the scourge.”

Ludwig just stared, looking at the catatonic woman. She didn’t look in pain, but that’s because she was entirely out of it and probably had been for a week. Just existing in this dark room without lucidity.

“You said the same thing years ago… with the Ashen Blood patients… and how did they end up, still uncured? How many patients died in the research hall Laurence” Ludwig muttered, turning back to Laurence.

The Vicar glared darkly and turned his head away in silence.

Ludwig gripped the sides of the operating table. Did this have to be the way? There must be other options. This woman didn’t deserve this, even if it was for the greater good?

Ludwig became aware of Laurence’s grip on him. He closed his eyes; he wasn’t prepared to deal with this.

“I need to think.” Was all he said before he attempted to push past Laurence, which wasn’t hard, but his hand still gripped him. With a forceful tug Ludwig tore himself free.

“Ahh” he hissed.

“Fuck, Ludwig I’m sorry!”

Ludwig looked down at his arm, he hadn’t realised it had been Laurence’s afflicted arm that grabbed him, shallow, but bloody cuts marked his forearm through the white sleeve. Laurence reached forward

“You should take a blood vial” he breathed, trying to take Ludwig’s arm in his hands, but the hunter just pulled away, leaving a bloody smear on Laurence’s hand. He marched out of the room and out of sight.

Laurence couldn’t think straight. He knew how it looked, he knew the hunter would be disgusted, but he had never seen what occurred behind the scenes at the Research Hall in the old days. The hunt was one thing but having to regularly interact with people in the worst times of their life and then experimenting on them was another.

It was for the greater good, Laurence genuinely believed he could save them all. He could ascend and better humanity. But now he just wanted to make sure he could see them all alive and unturned so they could reach that point.

Laurence became aware of the smear of blood on his hand. He would have to clear that off, but as he willed himself to move to the table, something hit him. Not physically, more like a feeling, carried on something… a scent. He breathed in, trying to locate it, it smelt pleasantly sweet and cut through the harsh chemicals that doused the room in a choking haze. A thought crossed his mind, and he lifted the hand covered in Ludwig’s blood just in front of his face.

His heartbeat even faster and his throat went dry, and yet, he could feel some saliva dampen his mouth.

He hadn’t even realised until it was too late that he allowed his tongue to run along his palm, the blood gathering in his mouth.

His mouth watered. It was indescribable. He felt his heartbeat slow and he relaxed. He closed his eyes. It sated him, oh it did… the blood.

Laurence snapped his eyes open and collapsed onto all fours, letting out a pained sob as he coughed up bile until his throat was raw.

His breaths came in shallow rasps but as it did, he felt his mouth begin to dry as he coughed his lungs up. It was only he managed to raise his head slightly and slow his breathing, he allowed himself to take much deeper breath in.

He could smell the blood everywhere; the whole room was filled with blood. How hadn’t he smelt it until now? How had he not noticed? it was in vials, bottles, and even in the patient herself. Why was it Ludwig’s blood that made him realise?

He choked back another pained gasp as his heart began to pound.

But he couldn’t help it, he licked at his hand again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pieces are falling together for Ludwig, whilst pretty much everything else is falling apart... and it's only going to get worse as the night progresses.   
> And if the Research Hall is anything to consider, it's that the Church had been twisted from it's inception. Why should the founder be any different? 
> 
> aka welcome back to hell, with bad writing and the inability to explain what the hell is going on.

Ludwig’s heart was still pounding. That woman, that patient. He couldn’t get the image of her from his mind. Even as he started into the gentle light of his sword. He had come to the courtyard beside Laurence’s office, primarily because it was a truly pleasant place, and also because no one would look for him there and he had a few good memories here, though they all had Laurence in them.

He tried to meditate, he truly did. But he failed to clear his mind. Travelling academics from Tibet had taught him the values of reflection and the art of detaching himself from the world, even momentarily. But tonight, he couldn’t do it. There was usually comfort in staring into the Moonlight Sword, a sense of purpose, his guiding moonlight he called it.

But tonight, he just couldn't engage with it. 

Ludwig opened his eyes and looked into the arcane energy flowing throughout it, and thought back to Laurence, he had looked awful. Even in the dim light he saw his skin was even more sickly, he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, hair matted and somewhat bloody and the way his eyes darted, as if unable to concentrate on anything. He was definitely thinner now as well. Ludwig signed mournfully, leaning down onto the hilt of his sword. But that woman, she was in just as bad a state, even worse. How could he let that go? Was he just to accept it?

He thought back again to Laurence. He would have been in so much pain, not being able to sleep, unable to find any suitable answers anymore.

He couldn't leave him. But that didn’t mean he had to be complicit in Laurence’s experiments.

Opening his eyes, staring into his sword, he knew what he had to do.

***

“Laurence, we need to ta – Laurence?”

Ludwig stood in the doorway to the laboratory, peering in he could see the shape of Laurence on the ground, hunched over on his knees, breathing slowly, but it was raspy, he could hear the guttural delay in every breath he took.

Ludwig slowly took a step forward, lowering himself so he was more sure of his footing.

“Laurence?”

Laurence didn’t react. But Ludwig could see blood staining the sleeves of his robe, the pristine white marred with a sickening crimson. He took another step forward, he could hear the raspiness of Laurence's breathing more clearly, but still couldn’t make out his face.

Ludwig got closer, and knelt down, reaching forward with his arm, he attempted to reach for Laurence. As he did, Laurence’s arm shot up, grabbing Ludwig’s wrist, and pulling it closer to his face. He turned around revealing his near empty eyes, his lips were pulled back in strain, revealing a mouth full of predatory teeth covered in blood. Ludwig couldn’t tell whose it was. He was so taken aback he didn't even react when Laurence gently lowered his head and put his tongue lightly to Ludwig’s wound, gripping him ever tighter. 

Ludwig snapped from his shock and pulled back strongly, breaking Laurence’s grasp on his wrist. Laurence didn’t move to attack, just hunched his shoulder, and slowly hissed in pain.

Ludwig couldn’t tell whether he should be a hunter at this moment, every part of him itched to reach for his sword, but at the same time he knew that may make it worse. He could smell the blood was stronger in the room than before, but Laurence also wasn’t being aggressive or violent. He couldn't even tell whether he was in his right mind, but judging by his actions, Ludwig thought not.

Laurence reached and placed both his hands on either side of his head, leaning right into the ground.

“Ahhhhh.” he hissed, as he pressed his hands in further.

The blood. The blood drove beasts and hunters alike mad, of course it affected those afflicted by the scourge irrespective of role or reason.

“Gods it hurts.” Hissed Laurence through his teeth as he pulled into himself more. “ _Leave me be_.”

Ludwig swallowed hard and walked over to Laurence again, careful to not be in swiping range, just in case. Laurence’s voice sounded more guttural, an edge of power to it that had never been there before. 

“Laurence, I’m getting you out of here.” He stated firmly.

Laurence only hissed again and pressed his hands further onto his skull.

“No, please don’t, I’ll be fine.”

“No, I’m not risking it, you need to get away from the blood.”

“I’m fine.” He strained.

Ludwig shook his head, but his eyes darted off to the side, and he felt the blood drain from his face. The patient, she was lying collapsed across the floor, the large vials of blood that had been connected to her severed, as if something had gone for the blood and would get it at any cost.

“Oh, by the Gods Laurence.”

Ludwig shook his head, leaning down to Laurence, he grabbed him by the collar and yanked him along the floor until he was out of the room into the near lightless hallway. Ludwig pressed him against the opposing wall and encouraged him into a sitting position. He hadn’t meant to be so pushy, but he was becoming increasingly scared of what Laurence might do to himself, or even to the hunter.

“Aghhhh” Laurence moaned, curling up into a ball and pressing his hands back into his head.

“Can you still smell blood Laurence?”

The Vicar just breathed heavily, before, in a strained voice stated, “Not as strong”

Ludwig breathed a sigh of relief. But he needed to check on the patient. He marched back into the room, if Laurence followed, he would just knock him out. 

Laurence yelled out once more and pressed his hands to his cranium. But Ludwig would deal with that later. Now he had more issues to deal with. 

***

The woman’s heart was still beating, so the hunter placed her back on the table, and with his very basic knowledge of blood ministration, was able to connect a new vial of Old Blood. He was thankful it was straightforward enough.

He surveyed the rest of the room, there wasn’t much blood on the floor, but he still poured cleansing alcohol all over it, mopping slightly with a rag he found. At least the scent of blood had been covered by the scent of alcohol so strong it made his head spin.

Moving outside, he saw Laurence, looking better, slightly. He had wiped the blood off his face and the remnants on his robe had more or less dried. He just sat there, looking like a rejected ragdoll in the gutter of a busy Yharnam street.

As the hunter approached, his head shot up,

“Ludwig, I’m so sorry…”

Ludwig just shook his head and collapsed in the door frame, looking at both the Vicar and the patient.

Laurence was relieved there was no scent of blood anywhere, thinking about it made him sick. He watched as Ludwig glanced back between him and the laboratory. He looked worn, older; his usually warm eyes steely.

Laurence slowly and painfully raised himself and moved closer to Ludwig, electing to sit beside him, though more than an arm’s length away against the other side of the frame, leaning away.

“So, your research is going well then?” Ludwig muttered.

“Hmmmmm, well as you can see at least I could write a manual on how to best accept the scourge as an inevitable part of life.” Laurence jested slightly, no humour in his voice.

Ludwig shook his head.

“You’ve been ignoring Amelia and I and now there’s live human experimentation… not the first time that’s happened though, is it?... I don’t know if I can abide by anymore of this _Vicar_.” Ludwig really drew out the word Vicar, looking over to Laurence, he saw that he was just staring ahead, not at anything in particular. 

“I’m sorry Ludwig, but I’m out of options. I truly am. There’s nothing else for it… I don’t think I’m going to live to see this through.”

Laurence still just stared forward. But Ludwig turned his body to face him.

“Laurence. Don’t say that, really don’t, because I don’t want to hear it… surely, you must have had some success? Or discovered anything new?”

Laurence blinked and turned to meet the Hunter’s gaze.

“If I can’t cure the scourge, I’ll control it… at any cost”

Ludwig blinked and furrowed his brow. _Control_?

“There is no success in stopping the scourge, especially not without hunters just dismembering the afflicted. But I’ve worked on a rune, but… only now do I think that it might be an answer. Not _the_ answer, but at least I have something.”

“Well, that’s positive I suppose.” Ludwig murmured, turning away from Laurence, “But the hunter’s are doing the best job they can, if we didn’t hunt the beasts the whole city would be gone.”

Laurence only nodded slightly.

Minutes passed and neither of them spoke, the only sound was the drip of the blood ministration.

Eventually, Ludwig broke the silence.

“Laurence, you cannot keep her here, especially not with how you reacted to blood just then.”

Laurence only nodded weakly.

“The Choir knows she’s here; I’ll tell them to collect and return her to the Research Hall… I’m sorry you had to see that Ludwig.”

“Be sorry for the women who you’ve experimented with.” Ludwig retorted cynically. 

Laurence shook his head slowly, “I’m not just sorry for that… Ludwig I’m so sorry about these past weeks… Gods I’m so sorry, I’ve treated you terribly, you deserved none of it. I’m at the lowest I’ve ever been and Gods Ludwig I’m just so sorry you have to see this, to put up with me…. I make no excuses; this is all my fault.” 

Ludwig’s gaze softened, “I-I’m glad you can recognise that, and I know you’re having a horrendous time of it all, so… I understand. But I would apologise to Amelia more so. She’s so worried sick about you.” 

Laurence gritted his teeth and nodded. 

“When’s the last time you slept anyway?” Ludwig muttered, brow furrowing. 

Laurence coughed to clear his throat and didn't respond for a second, before taking a deep breath and gathering himself the best he could,

“Maybe two or three nights ago, for some time… but I can’t do it, all I experience are nightmares, and it seems to just bleed into reality.” 

Silence gathered in the room again. Ludwig couldn’t think straight, he tried to make sense of it all. It’s clear the scourge was getting worse, not just with Laurence, but even the beasts were getting bolder. There would come a time where it would take five hunters to take down a single creature. The thought of that made him ill. So, he turned his thoughts back to Laurence. 

Ludwig looked over to the Vicar, he looked at his body, rapidly degenerating under the weight of a disease with no known cure and one that forced people to become threats on top of everything else. Laurence was sickly pale, and the bones of his face and hands could be made out easily now.

Despite himself and his better judgment, Ludwig thought back to his conversation with Simon, it wasn't the right time remotely, but still - whenever was the right time.

“Laurence, what am I to you?”

Laurence was entirely taken aback; he straightened his spine. That was entirely out of the blue. He looked over to the hunter, who was staring at him with the same steely gaze as before. Usually warm brown eyes were cold. Laurence couldn’t maintain eye contact and looked away.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t be coy, we’ve known each other for years, but suddenly you begin to invite me to your office late at night, we drink, we share personal stories and you insist on sharing my bed at times. Tell me, is that how you treat your friends regularly? I don’t want to force you to say anything, but I just need this to be clear.”

Laurence looked back over to Ludwig before sliding closer and closing the gap between them. He didn't speak for a moment, just breathed slowly and blinked, eyes wandering to meet Ludwig’s.

“Ludwig, I have admired you since I first met you, but I only recently thought it may be worth pursuing you, in...in a more than professional sense. I couldn’t tell if you shared the same preference as I did, to be honest I thought you had no preference or interest. But I just went for it, and when I felt you were receptive I wanted to take it further… Ludwig I adore you in the same way all your hunter’s admire you, but… I think I also love you.”

Ludwig’s heart stopped. Had he heard those words correctly?

Laurence continued.

“I never wanted to involve you with all these issues, I thought I could research and cure this on my own, but by the Great Ones I would have never made it this far without you. Whenever you’re here, giving me support or just showing concern, it absolutely warms my heart and… and… Ludwig, I’m not a good person and I’m sure as hell not holy. I genuinely want to help these people but that requires sacrifices someone with more, uh… evolved ethics maybe wouldn’t elect to undertake.”

Laurence began to rush his words, pulling his arms into himself and looking down to the floor. Ludwig just sat there, unable to respond. It was simultaneously what he desperately wanted to hear and also confirmed his own fears. He too was in love with Laurence and had no idea if he would survive much longer and cure himself or would succumb and be another victim to be sliced down in the bloody alleyways.

No. he wouldn't let that happen.

He thought of the Communions, services and the rituals. Laurence clearly cared about everything, it was clear how much he held it dear to him, the whole Healing Church and everything they strived to achieve. He had led that, he had created that and by the Gods Ludwig wanted to help him protect that, at any cost. He loved Laurence, that was clear, he loved his work and he loved the Church and all it aimed to achieve. 

Looking back to Laurence, seeing him in the state, it genuinely broke his heart. 

Laurence began to shudder, and he moved his body forward till the top of his head was illuminated in the candlelight. Ludwig’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

“Uhh, Laurence?”

“Hmmm,” was the only response.

“Have you… uh…. Laurence…. Ah, I….”

Ludwig couldn't find the right words, so he crawled over to Laurence and slowly reached out to his cranium, he could see them. It wasn't a trick of the dim light. They just sat there, naturally, he couldn't quite tell but they seemed reddish, slightly gnarled and the length of his index finger. He touched one gently.

Laurence jolted violently, so much so he slammed his head into the stone wall to his side.

“Ahhhhh” he groaned, before suddenly thrusting his hands onto his head.

Ludwig could see the Vicar’s expression go from shock, to pure, blind terror. Sticking out from Laurence's matted hair, were two small horns. Or maybe antlers was more accurate, they seemed to be pronged.

Laurence bolted upright so quickly that even Ludwig was shocked and ran into the laboratory and to the table. He cast a lot of the books off even threw some of the vials in his panic, he searched and fumbled until he pulled out a small compact reflective disk, it was close enough to a mirror. He positioned himself in the candlelight and began to test the angles of the mirror. When he found the right angle, he let out a pained hiss and dropped the disk, letting it bounce off the floor. Laurence let his arms hang to his side, followed by ducking his head.

Ludwig approached him from behind, and gently lay an arm on his shoulder, before pulling Laurence closer to him, he didn’t rest his chin on his head as he would have liked, but being this close to the antlers, he could see they were beginning to bleed, they were developing slowly, but right before his eyes.

Laurence began to fall forward, only supported by Ludwig holding him steady.

“I’ve got you, and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“Ludwig… I’m out of time.”

“You told me that the time before turning isn’t consistent, maybe it’ll slow down a lot of now may- “

“Ludwig please” Laurence interrupted, “it’s speeding up, blood is a trigger even if it’s been seemingly under control it's not. In the slight moment I can sleep I’ve been dreaming of blood – Oh Gods – I’m just lucky I haven’t hurt anyone – Oh by Mother Kos - this is it isn't it...”

Ludwig didn’t respond, he couldn’t find the words. He just hugged Laurence tighter as he gritted his teeth in an attempt to choke back the tears of fatigue and seemingly resounding failure. They stayed like that for a moment, neither knew what to do, what to say.

Slowly Ludwig pressed his lips into Laurence’s hair and let the Vicar fall against him.

“Laurence… No matter what you look like, or what you become, I’ll still love and support you.”

Laurence just collapsed further into Ludwig.

“Laurence, you need to get out of here… come back to my quarters”

Laurence only weakly nodded as he began to shudder. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much smut, idk.

Ludwig wrapped his cloak around Laurence, holding him tight as they began their traverse from Upper Cathedral Ward. Laurence was shuddering and sweating despite the rather chill night air as he pressed himself to Ludwig. Ludwig pulled the cloak further over Laurence’s head, to obscure his face, but the antlers were going to be difficult to keep hidden. They weren’t particularly offensive to look at, but they were the length of his hand now and still bleeding– it was all rather horrific.

Urging down the sinking feeling in his stomach, Ludwig picked up the pace, all the time making sure Laurence was able to keep up in his miserable state.

***

“Here”

Ludwig wrapped another blanked around Laurence, who thankfully, had stopped shivering, but his dull eyes and melancholic expression were still concerning – well, one of the many things to be concerned about.

Laurence sat perched at the side of Ludwig’s bed, closest to the fire which the hunter had attempted to stoke up again, to chase away the chill from the room and Laurence’s bones, though the cold bricks and stone that made up the quarters certainly didn’t help. The Vicar looked utterly defeated, horrified and sick, with his skin more pallid than usual, aside from the aggressive red streaked veins that snaked across the left side of his body.

“Would you like tea? Water? Anything at all I can get for you?” Ludwig offered, hopelessly, walking slowly over to Laurence and sitting beside him, putting an arm around his shoulder for some semblance of support.

Laurence just shook his head and licked his dry, bloody lips, before collapsing into Ludwig’s embrace. Ludwig could feel a dampness on his shirt where the Vicars silent, unwilling tears were slowly absorbed by the fabric.

He didn’t know what to do. Neither of them did. Was it really over? Were they just to wait for the inevitable?

Ludwig released a resigned sigh, reaching over with his free hand he began to hold and gently stroke Laurence’s face, careful not to be too rough with the areas he knew were sensitive.

“Laurence?”

“Hmmmm?” came a weak acknowledgement.

“Will...will the Healing Church, no, all of Yharnam fall if no cure can be found?” Ludwig asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

He felt Laurence shift in his arms, pushing himself back gently to look directly at Ludwig, eyes still rimmed with red and glassy with tears that he clearly had no care to try and hide. The man reached with his right hand to clutch at Ludwig’s chest, releasing a barely controlled and shaky sigh.

“Please… please let us not discuss this now… just not now.”

“I…I’m sorry… Oh gods Laurence’s I’m sorry but I just can’t help the thoughts of what’s supposed to happen now, I don’t know where we go from here with your research?!”

Ludwig was rarely anxious or out of his meticulously crafted self-control, but he had no other thoughts, his heart beating faster and faster and his grip of Laurence tightening. Laurence offered no response, just sat up straighter and pulled his hand to himself, creating a slight distance between Ludwig and himself. He didn’t know what to say, how to offer support when for weeks Ludwig had been supporting and helping him with everything. Laurence could only look at the reserved man, barely seeming like the mighty Hold Blade he usually was. 

“Laurence?”

Ludwig broke the silence. “If the scourge is inevitable by the blood and the moon... what sort of beast do you think I’ll become?” he breathed, averting his gaze to the floor.

Laurence breathed sharply in. In a mere second, a wave of adrenaline rushed through Laurence, as well as realisation and overall horror cleared his mind. Reaching out with both hands he grasped for Ludwig’s face, pulling it closer until their foreheads touched, then placing his hands on either side of the hunter’s head, careful not to cut him, he pulled their lips together. It was a bit rough, but he couldn’t help it. Ludwig, though initially taken aback, leaned into the embrace. Laurence’s lips were dry and bloodied from where his teeth bit into them and he hadn’t bothered with blood ministration. Laurence, when he could feel Ludwig relax into it entirely, pried the other’s mouth open with his tongue, allowing for some exploration, he felt the teeth on the roof of the mouth and savoured the taste of him. There was something satisfying that he had managed to crack open that appearance of the Holy Blade being an almost untouchable force, and found that there was indeed a genuinely a man of valour and dedication at every layer, though one that had just as many doubts and fears as anyone else. He could smell Ludwig’s blood, it tantalised him, but he could ignore it, he could focus on what truly mattered. 

Ludwig returned the embrace thoroughly, though was considerably more careful and accounted for Laurence’s sharpened teeth…fangs? They were razor sharp, but it did add a thrill of danger to it all. He breathed deep, drinking in the scent and taste of Laurence. 

Laurence began to press his body against Ludwig’s, feeling the hunter respond to all of his moves with care and consideration, backing up, moving forward, beginning to gently rake his fingers down Laurence’s spine, causing the Vicar to shudder against his every move. As Ludwig moved his hands up again, he brought them along to the front of Laurence’s body, feeling his ribs and slowly descending towards his abdomen. He felt Laurence’s hand’s running through his hair, mattering the dark locks even more as he twisted them around with his fingers. Neither had realised how much they craved one another, hungered for this, wanted each other, entirely and forever if time would only permit.

They stayed that way for a few moments, savouring the taste of one another, enjoying the engaged embrace that they had desperately craved from one another for a long time and simply enjoyed the presence of each other and their closeness. Before long, Ludwig felt Laurence pull back. He allowed him, and respectfully did the same, but in disappointment.

Laurence panted slightly, taking Ludwig’s right hand with his own and placing it to his face.

“Ludwig?”

“Hmmmm,” muttered the hunter, going to plant soft kisses on Laurence's neck, relishing in the soft moans and slight twitches the man elicited. 

“You told me that no matter what I look like or what I become you’d still support me – well… I feel the exact same way… and I want you to know that I love you, and as long as I can, I will never leave or hurt you”

Ludwig stopped and raised his head back up to meet Laurence’s soft, but tired and bloodshot gaze. Laurence pressed their foreheads together again, gently. Ludwig smiled softly, 

“That’s all I need to hear; I love you Laurence and nothing will change that.”

It was the validation each craved. Laurence, though he might not have much time left, would have been content to trade it all just for this moment to last a little longer. Opening his eyes slowly, he drank it all he could see and feel. It was all too tempting. By the Gods he was perfect to him. To Laurence he was the exact image that came to mind when people referred to the noble knights of the old tales, Ludwig embodied it all to perfection. Laurence just observed him, and Ludwig allowed it, feeling content as Laurence trailed his finger over his nose and down his lips, for it was pure contentment, momentary, but still valuable.

No sooner was Laurence beginning to truly relax, that he felt a heat in his abdomen. A familiar sensation, but one that he rarely had time to appreciate with his every busy schedule and general anxiety. Not wishing to disturb the embrace too much, he shuffled even closer to the edge of the bed and moved to close his legs.

Ludwig noticed and pulled back, placing his arms behind him, and leant on them. Laurence couldn’t tell whether it was suggestive, or Ludwig was just generally amused despite his calm expression. Ludwig bit his lip and appeared to ponder for a moment before exhaling and smiling slightly, “So, do you want me to take care of that for you?” he asked, voice lowered even further than usual.

Laurence looked away, he felt the previous dread and existentialism fade and he focuaed on hiding the red tint rising in his cheeks. Closing his legs further he cast a side eye at the Hunter.

“It’s a generous offer really, but aren’t you tired? You’ve been through quite the ordeal today, and nearly every night.”

Ludwig shifted closer, placing a supporting arm around his shoulder, before snaking down to his waist and resting his large hand on Laurence’s abdomen. With his free hand he cupped Laurence’s chin and turned it towards his head to meet his eyes. Laurence’s green eyes even though shadowed by dark circles were absolutely tantalising to Ludwig. He could make out flecks of gold and amber within the very centre shifting out to a jade green. Laurence’s lips as well, though cracked and bloody still remained full and ever so inviting, he wanted him. He needed him.

Biting his lip again, Ludwig drew Laurence’s face even closer, a somewhat playful smile on his face.

“I’m actually feeling quite alive, and Laurence, with everything you’ve been through, and are going through, you deserve a bit of destressing, don’t you?”

Laurence lowered his eyelids and shifted his head to the side, before leaning to Ludwig’s ear and ever so slightly, applied the lightest pressure between his front teeth. Careful not to bite down too hard, he breathed softly and every so quietly breathed “I simply cannot refuse”.

That was all that Ludwig needed.

***

Ludwig certainly was not a man to waste words or time, and he certainly exemplified that as he picked up Laurence ever so gently and placed him further on the bed, mindful of how sore he must be from the recent trauma. He breathed deep, kicked off his boots and, on all fours, climbed on top of Laurence, balancing his care for the Vicar and his own excitement and lust, he kissed Laurence, long and deep, allowing their tongues to explore each other again, with a ferocity that Laurence matched at every turn, every twist of the tongue of the slight writhing of their bodies.

Laurence moaned underneath him; Ludwig knew he needed to take care of something else at this moment. He broke their kiss as he moved upright and sat back, he began to slowly unbuckle Laurence’s belt as the man began to breathe even heavier in anticipation beneath him. He then leaned forward and trailed his fingers gently across Laurence’s chest down to his abdomen through his undershirt, and then to the drawstring of his smallclothes. Laurence moaned audibly as Ludwig began to pull at them. He looked to Laurence and the man nodded. Ludwig smiled gently and slowly began to pull them down until he discarded them entirely. He could feel his own arousal as he stared at the flushed Vicar. Laurence helped by pulling off the outer part of his tunic from underneath him before reaching up and attempted to assist Ludwig in undoing his own belt and tunic. Though, not very successfully with only one somewhat functional arm.

“Don’t you worry about a thing, I’ve got it,” He murmured, waving away Laurence’s arm.

Laurence only dropped back in relief as Ludwig began to pull away at his own robe. Laurence was enthralled, he could see all the taught, defined muscles, scars, and trauma that the hunter had faced, it was all laid out in front of him, entirely his to enjoy. Similarly, Ludwig couldn’t deny, the proposal to see Laurence entirely exposed both excited him and made him feel like he was somehow defiling a holy figure. He mentally laughed at that; Laurence had told him how scandalous he was back in his Byrgenwerth days.

As Ludwig leant down and began to undo the buttons to rid him of the undershirt that hid the last part of Laurence’s body, the Vicar reached out to stop him from being able to remove it from his left side, he looked reserved, his face darkened, but he didn’t say a thing. Ludwig didn’t push him further; he slowly released his grip on the robe and instead moved his hands to his own undergarments. As he discarded them, he turned back to Laurence and noticed he had rescinded his grasp on the shirt and instead grasped at his gold pendant still around his neck. 

Slowly, gently, and always watchful, Ludwig reached for the shirt, slowly moving it away from the arm. If Laurence gave the slightest indication, he didn’t like something or wasn’t comfortable, Ludwig would listen to anything he said, observe and respect his every desire. But Laurence only breathed slowly, looked away and nodded his head. Ludwig leaned forward and discarded the robe, and then, slowly, began to unwind the loose and frayed bandages. 

He hadn’t seen the arm unobscured by cloth since his night in the garden during the hunt. It had grown in size, with the musculature appearing simultaneously defined and hardened, it looked even more similar to a mature scourge beast’s arm, though maintained a reddish colour with even further enlarged and darkened veins. Along the outer region of the forearm, short tufts of hair, no, fur the colour of Laurence’s hair had begun to emerge, surrounded by irritated, peeling, and bloody skin. The hand still remained the same, still gnarled, though the claws were even longer and thicker, though that may just be a trick of the flickering firelight. Ludwig looked back at Laurence’s face, he was flushed, though looked away, as if not wanting to face the bared reality of it all. Taking the afflicted hand in his own, brought it to his lips, the unnatural heat of it was actually rather soothing and felt pleasant in its own way. Laurence moaned slightly, more out of relief than actual arousal.

“As I said, I love you and nothing will ever change that.”

Ludwig saw Laurence relax further, a tear of relief rolling down his cheek. But Ludwig wasn’t finished, he released his hand and reached forward to Laurence’s face, gently trailing up his lips and nose before going further up the scalp to his antlers. They still looked bloody around the base and were definitely even larger than before. Ludwig assumed they must still be too painful, so he left them. 

Ludwig then moved back to Laurence’s lips, just hovering slightly above them, he then pressed his lips in gently, before trailing soft kisses down his sternum, chest and towards his navel. Laurence’s breathing got heavier and more laboured as he began to run his hands through Ludwig’s hair. As Ludwig got Laurence’s navel, he trailed his hands down the outside of his thighs before moving them internally and gently nudging them open a little more. Ludwig then raised his head, looking back into Laurence’s eyes, before he looked at what he was working with. He had been attentive to all of Laurence, but now he focused on only one area. Laurence was already quite hard, but Ludwig knew he could elicit a greater response. Sweeping his hair back, he lowered his head and gave an gentle, experimental lick from the base to the tip, savouring the moment, and drinking in the involuntary twitch that Laurence elicited as his breathing deepened. Judging the response, Ludwig moved and gave another slower, extended lick, then focused on encircling the tip, attempting to hit as many of the sensitive areas as possible. He licked in a circular motion around the shaft before opening his mouth and taking Laurence whole. Laurence moaned, unable to contain himself, before hissing quietly and breathing moans as Ludwig pleasured him. He moved his head up and down, changing position, dragging his teeth along the length, and focusing on the top.

Laurence’s hands reached for Ludwig’s hair again, running his fingers through the hunter’s scalp, trying to be as gentle as possible. Ludwig rather liked the feeling of Laurence’s fingers and claws running through his scalp, it was like scratching an itch he didn’t realise he had, or perhaps it was simply being close to him.

Laurence felt the pressure begin to rise in his body, but he had other plans.

“Ludwig?” he breathed out; voice hoarse.

Ludwig raised his head, in an attempt to look Laurence in the eye but did not remove his mouth.

“I…. Let me….no, I mean…. I want you and... I want to make you feel good and you’re always in control so please… if you would like, let me return the favour…w” Laurence propped himself up on his elbows, face flushed and body shaking. Ludwig could have climaxed there and then just looking at him.

Removing Laurence from his mouth, Ludwig propped up on his knees. Looking the Vicar directly in the eyes, he lowered his lids and smiled, wiping some of the saliva and pre-ejaculate from his face.

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly turn the Vicar down could I, not when he’s offered to _serve me_.” Ludwig teased poorly, earning a weak laugh from Laurence more from the fact he tried to jest during this time.

Ludwig gestured to the table beside his bed, Laurence knew exactly what to do. He reached over and fumbled through the draw until he retrieved a small vial of what he recognised as a slick lubricant. Ludwig in the meantime reclined into the pillows at the top of the mattress, throwing back the sheets – they were a little too good to ruin. Laurence was as hard as he had ever been, and the cold lubricant against his cock just excited him more. This was it; this was his time with the one he loved, and by the Gods he’d show him how much he meant to him.

Ludwig’s face was flushed, and he reclined further, providing Laurence the right amount of access. Laurence responded first by leaning down and kissing him deeply, mindful not to bite his lip. Laurence eventually pulled Ludwig’s legs gently outwards and began to move his hand towards his opening, pouring the remainder of the lube on it just in case. Ludwig felt hot, and his cock was dripping with anticipation that matched Laurence’s own. 

“It’s okay I don’t want to walk tomorrow anyway, a day off would truly be wonderful” Ludwig smiled through teasing, half lidded eyes.

Laurence gave a light laugh, “Just don’t curse me when you inevitably get called to the hunt.”

Laurence positioned himself lower and slowly moved a finger inside, eliciting a slight hiss from Ludwig. He stopped, waited for Ludwig to nod, then continued inside, eventually pushing in a second finger and working his way around.

Ludwig began to breathe heavier, breaths more laboured and deeper.

Laurence then pushed in a third, before manoeuvring it around to both Ludwig’s and his liking. The Holy Blade moaned again and softly breathed out,

“Yes.”

Laurence got to work. He retracted his fingers, and positioned his cock, breathing deeply as he began to gently pus into Ludwig, stopping every few seconds to allow Ludwig to readjust and find his comfort. He went deeper, Ludwig moaned and grasped the sheets. Swearing softly under his breath. Laurence reached down with his hands to grasp at Ludwig’s thighs and lift them slightly, providing easier, less obstructed access. He wanted to please Ludwig as well, to hear him moan and cry in pleasure and by the Gods would he achieve that. He began thrusting, slowly, in rhythm with Ludwig, who had begun to stroke his cock in partnership with Laurence’s pleasure. Laurence thrust harder, faster, Ludwig cried in anticipation, arched his back when he could and stroked his cock in response to the stimulation.

This was everything Ludwig wanted from this. He adored the feeling of Laurence being so close, listening to him breath in laboured breaths as he matched Ludwig’s own enjoyment. The Vicar clearly wanted this as well, Ludwig touched himself further, leaning into the rhythm of their union. He felt the excitement rise within him, he closed his eyes, and readied himself for the release he could feel was rise within him. 

Laurence could feel the rise within himself as well, soon, so soon. Ludwig was the same, he could feel that pressure building, that pure white bliss. He pounded faster, Ludwig moaned louder, enjoying his every thrust. Ludwig was close, as was Laurence. 

Ludwig never wished for this to end. To be there with the man he loved, to be appreciated by him and to be able to feel close to him in a way that he never thought possible. To have him pleasure him like very few people ever had before. 

Laurence felt…. Alive…… he breathed in deeper and quickened his thrusts in preparation. More alive than he had in a long time. He stifled another moan as he pushed in slowly. As he pulled back... It felt… good… better than he had ever been…. But that wasn't _just_ it…... He felt…...like he had been…. chasing something, like shredding something, like it was pure ecstasy. He felt it…. desire...

To shred.

To tear it limb from limb to feel it spill open and drink from the source. To sate the thirst.

Wait, what was that scent? It was sweet. It called to him.

It caressed him.

“AGHHH!’

Something was screaming, but what did it matter.

He looked to his left, there it was

Blood running down some creature.

_Blood._

_Blood._

_BLOOD._

“Laurence!”

He felt a hard force push him back with a slam to chest, something forced him onto the ground. He felt the cold stones. 

He could smell it, it was the bleeding one, the sweet elixir running down the stranger’s thigh, it was calling him.

He needed it…

Lifting his head to the stranger above him…he drew back his lips and growled and prepared himself to lunge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ngl I live for is angst and god witing the most simple of smut scenes is harder than any academic thesis.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's getting worse and there are absolutely no breaks for either Laurence or Ludwig as the scourge begins to finalise.

To Ludwig it seemed like Laurence had fallen into a trance, he had stopped thrusting, pulled out and stopped responding… just kneeling there. Ludwig had climaxed, but it seemed like Laurence was entirely disinterested.

Then he felt it.

With the afflicted hand Laurence had dug his claws deep into him, when he had yelled out as he felt the warm blood flow down his thigh Laurence had looked to the blood, drawing his bloodied claws out he had just looked at it with blank eyes. Then the first near deafening crack of bone occurred.

No. No. No!

_Why now? What did Laurence do to deserve this?_

Laurence didn’t react but continued to stare at the blood that covered his claws, as another crack occurred, and blood began to run down his skull from the developing antlers.

Ludwig made a move to snatch his leg and try to apply pressure to the wound which was rapidly losing blood. But the sudden movement caused Laurence to snap back, following the trail of blood from the thigh to Ludwig.

Laurence pulled back his lips, exposing his significantly larger and more developed fangs and hissed inhumanely.

Ludwig didn’t have time to think, he just kicked Laurence directly in his chest off the bed. He was fortunate Laurence was light, but still didn’t appreciate being treated so roughly.

Laurence screeched piercingly like a beast from hell itself, Ludwig was certain it was so loud the entirety of Cathedral Ward could hear it. Laurence then got into a crouching position, ready to strike if need be, gripping the stones with his claws.

Ludwig still clutched his thigh, blood seeping out at an alarming rate.

He had blood vials, but they were in his desk, near where his sword was as well. Slowly he made an attempt to move to the other side of the bed, Laurence still crouched, growling increasingly animalistically. His green eyes seemingly getting darker by the second, the cracking and popping sounds of bones breaking and reforming was near deafening and must have been agonising, but Laurence seemed not to care. 

Ludwig attempted not to scream as he drew near the edge of the bed towards the desk and had to place weight on his leg. But Laurence wasn’t going to let him have it that easily.

The half-beast lunged at an inhumane speed; the power Laurence had never really had in his legs was suddenly tripled. Ludwig attempted to lunge out of the way, but Laurence was quicker and pounced upon him, holding him down with the strength of a scourge beast. He hissed through his fangs and held Ludwig pinned to the ground with the afflicted arm, no arms now. The other was tipped with claws and had considerably greater strength than ever before.

Ludwig could only attempt to struggle, even for the Holy Blade, getting pinned down by a beast while bleeding out and the beast happens to be your lover tended to make retaliation more difficult. As Laurence lunged his head down, snapping at Ludwig’s throat the hunter was able to barely shrink back and avoid spilling his life’s blood in time. Laurence pulled back, ready for a second attempt, tightening his grip on Ludwig.

A glimmer. A hairline.

_Guidance._

Ludwig snapped his head to the left, where he saw the poker from the fire and further than that – the Holy Moonlight Sword.

Gods, it was worth a shot, but would it be worth hurting Laurence like that?

The hunter moved his eyes briefly to the half-beast that was still snapping at him, the only thing preventing him from attaining his kill was Ludwig’s leg pressed firm against his chest. But he would have to release that to reach the poker or sword.

_Well…it was either die here bleeding out and possibly getting eaten by the half-beast that’s your lover, or most likely die by your half-beast lover for trying to attack you._

_May as well try._

Laurence continued to claw at him, shredding his skin and allowing blood to flow freely, hissing and screeching.

Ludwig mustered all the strength he had left in his and in one swift, firm kick, launched Laurence across the room, where he crashed into a cabinet with another inhumanly pitched shriek.

Ludwig paid the half-beast no mind, he leapt to the left – he had two options, the considerably closer poker, or the further, but far more efficient Moonlight Sword. By the Blood he only had half a second to decide.

Laurence shrieked again, louder and drew it out, getting less and less human by the second.

Laurence the half-beast had recovered and was more pissed than ever his source of blood was not only violent but attempting to fight back.

Ludwig made his choice – at least he could at least try for the sword.

Without putting too much weight on his leg, he leapt over at an impressive speed, but the sudden movement aggravated the half-beast. It shot up, with considerably more power – his shins and feet had reformed more akin to a wolf leg with an additional knee bent back – it was grotesque, but powerful and gave him considerably more power as he lunged at the Hunter.

Ludwig desperately extended his arm as far as it would go in reach for the blade. He had to! He couldn’t die here! Not like this.

A flash of bright aqua.

He felt the hilt of the great-sword fall comfortably in his hand, as he thrust it forward, meting flesh and bone in a grizzly squelch.

The beast screeched again, but agonisingly so and began to go quiet.

Ludwig opened his eyes entirely, the half-beast was perched on top of him, no. Laurence was perched on top of him, he was staring intently at the great-sword that had found its way into his thigh, close to his hips. Blood was pooling considerably from the wound.

Laurence began to inhale rapidly with short sharp breaths following. As if panicked by the development. He looked to Ludwig, and then back at the sword. Laurence breathed even more rapidly, hissing through his bared fangs, it was all his teeth now, all sharpened to a point like a true predator's mouth. 

Ludwig could only be thankful that he had stopped attacking, and that one non-lethal thrust was enough. Had he used it even at a quarter of its capabilities the Moonlight Sword may have annihilated Laurence. Looking back to the half-beast, he was still breathing rapidly, but in his eyes, now a sickening amber, there were tears falling. They dripped down his face, falling onto Ludwig.

Ludwig released a shaky sigh; he was lucky he could reach his desk draw from this position. Reaching up slowly, as to not startle Laurence, opened the drawer, and rummaged around sightlessly until he felt the cold glass of a blood vial. It was a rather large one that had been provided to him by a thankful blood saint – hopefully, it would be enough for Laurence.

Ludwig gripped the hilt of the sword still lodged in Laurence firmly, and with a strong yank, pulled it free.

“AGHHH!.”

Laurence screamed in an almost human way as Ludwig pushed him back and leapt on top of him and forced him down with his arm as he injected the blood vial into the wounded thigh. Laurence didn’t fight back, just breathed rapidly and continued to cry. The blood vial was already taking effect, as the flesh began to seal, and the blood stopped flowing as freely.

Only at that moment did Ludwig realise how dizzy he was, he put extreme faith in Laurence and retreated off the half-beast and crawled to the desk, pulling out another standard blood vial and injected it into his increasingly numb thigh. Hopefully, it would be enough. Looking back over to Laurence, who was crouched over, arms around himself, staring at the floor, he didn’t make an attempt to move. Ludwig was too weak at this moment, all he could do was watch in agony as Laurence clawed slightly at the closing wound, before shutting his eyes. The half-beast began to whimper in an uncomfortably animalistic way – he had heard many beasts make those exact sounds as he wounded them and then went in for the kill.

“L… Lu…aghhhhh”

Ludwig’s eyes shot open again, the half-beast had retreated to the other side of the room, right arm raised to obscure his face, as if ashamed and believed that if Ludwig couldn’t see his eyes then he couldn’t see his shame.

“Ludwig?”

Ludwig’s heart rate rose rapidly as he grimaced and felt his throat tighten as his stress slowly dissipated.

“Laurence? Are you back?” he breathed quietly.

Laurence looks up, removing his hand, eyes lucid, but amber, and weeping without any attempt to quell the hot tears that fell. Ludwig tried to hold himself together, he did. But even he had his limit as he felt the sting behind his eyes. He couldn’t help it, after this all, after everything, how could he be composed? He sat there against the wall across from Laurence, sword still bloodied in his hand and wound that was still stitching itself together as silent tears slowly dripped onto the floor.

They said nothing for a moment, what could they say? What was there anymore?

Eventually it was Laurence that broke the silent cries.

“You…you need more concentrated blood ministration than that.”

His voice was raspier than usual, and not likely due to the effect of the crying or even screeching.

Ludwig sniffed slightly, looking back up at Laurence, who was crouched even further into himself, his dark blonde hair tangled in his recently matured antlers and all of his limbs skin was red raw and bleeding not from the wounds inflicted by Ludwig, but also from the recently developed fur that ran up the back of his arms. The darkened veins streaked across all his body. He was a mess, barely able to stay conscious given away by the tilting of his head and the struggle to keep his eyelids open.. 

Ludwig could only muster a small nod. His eyes felt heavy, his head pounded something fiercer than the church bells and his whole body felt like it had been dipped in liquid lead.

“Ludwig please answer me. We need to get you to the research halls or medical labs”

Laurence had slowly stood up, shakily and desperately attempting to account for his leg’s development. He held the banister of the bed for support before dropping to his knees beside Ludwig.

Laurence felt sick, he feared reaching out to Ludwig, every part of him was corrupted now and he didn’t want the hunter to flinch away. This was all his fault, Gods the Ashen Blood, the Church, the Old Blood – all of it – His fault.

Ludwig was still breathing deeply, though through a haze of pain. Laurence felt repulsed, at the scourge, at the lack of research in curing it, but most clearly, at himself. He had caused this, he had nearly killed Ludwig, the one person who genuinely cared for him unconditionally. But this maybe it, there was no happy ending to this.

“Ludwig”

Ludwig’s breathing laboured, and he grunted a response.

“Kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uni's back so I will be updating even less frequrently, but there is an endgoal so it will happen and thank you to the people who recently subscribed and commented, you're the best!


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